Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
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Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML
Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML
Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML
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Top comments
grahmagog 14
Clean your ears more often and you'll understand why
ManInTheMachine 19
Sounds like he found his q-spot.
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Comments (89)
forlifebro 15
Maybe you should clean his ears as foreplay?
B1ackthesun 31
Is it just me who has a sudden urge to clean my ears?
Sick_Nature 11
Try doing it once in awhile and you'll understand.
timelessone 16
No.
strike2867 13
Was the sound no sound at all or "Yeah baby just like that!!!"
kernelkat 16
I'm like that with food
rebel501 4
Eargasmic
scice03 8
How is this an FML? It feels good.. Stop being dramatic.
FlyingPie 17
Earsturbating
graceinsheepwear 33
I just don't understand all these comments about how good it feels to clean your own ears. You people should get out of the bathroom now and then and really have some fun.
jenn1808 16
It's not like I clean my ears forthe fun of it, but when you need to clean them a qtip is so satisfying. Kind of how it feels awesome to sneeze after you've been sniffling for a while.
russfml 31
What does 20 seconds of ear cleaning and making it funny have to do with not getting out enough lol