Intimacy: What a Q-tip

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 536

You deserved it 6 482

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Same thing different taste

Headshot!

By Amb - 01/06/2010 23:56 - United States

Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 062

You deserved it 6 197

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 1 952

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 374

You deserved it 5 765

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 580

You deserved it 4 974

By Helseac - 17/12/2018 03:00

Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 738

You deserved it 440

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 245

You deserved it 32 721

By kblevss - 05/01/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 771

You deserved it 5 718

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 285

You deserved it 2 746

By merpaderp14 - 09/09/2013 06:15 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 104

You deserved it 5 960

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 046

You deserved it 896

grahmagog 14

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:30

Clean your ears more often and you'll understand why

ManInTheMachine 19

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:37

Sounds like he found his q-spot.

Comments

lisaonastick 7

Wednesday 26 June 2013 18:25

Is somebody waxing jealous?

Playful1985 9

Wednesday 26 June 2013 19:11

Ear sex is real

RedWingSD 6

Thursday 27 June 2013 8:27

Maybe your not doing it right!?

sinekt 9

Thursday 27 June 2013 10:27

Because it is just as great as sex. I thought that was known by everybody...

imlifeless2 25

Sunday 14 July 2013 6:10

you're cirtain he was cleaning his ears?

nickyp30 8

Monday 15 July 2013 5:55

It does feel pretty great

madi9813 9

Friday 18 October 2013 7:16

Not gonna lie. I know the feeling. It feels kinda good. Not to the point where I would make sex noises. But it feels amazing...

ThuggishBonez 1

Monday 21 October 2013 19:06

is ur boyfriend the dude that came in his pants while using q tips to clean his ears

ShelbieAnn213 6

Thursday 12 December 2013 8:26

I just saw a post about a guy that came in his pants while cleaning his ears with out even touching his personal area . .

Medhi_fml 18

Friday 10 October 2014 20:23

I thought that was common and well understood.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I have a horribly painful throat infection and can't talk. In spite of this, Dad keeps insisting I call people for him, meaning I have to make use of a text to speech program. Eight out of twelve people I've called on his behalf have hung up, thinking I'm a scambot. Dad is blaming me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 87

Today, I get to add spaghetti sauce to my rather extensive list of things that don't belong in a person's eye but that end up in mine anyway. Other items include molten cheese, rock salt, orange juice, chips of nail polish, cotton fibers, and firework ash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 112

You deserved it 5 027

The Top

Today, my dog died. I spent ages digging him a grave and buried him in the garden so that my dad wouldn't have to deal with the stress when he got home from work. When my dad got home he told me that he had wanted the dog to be cremated. I have just had to dig up my dog's body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 212

You deserved it 5 197

Today, my granddad had to start sleeping in my bedroom. He has flashback dreams to when he was a boxer, and he's already lamped my granny three times in his sleep. I get a camp-bed, and the chance to listen to him snore like a wild boar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 414

You deserved it 2 180

Today, I went to see my girlfriend to talk about my anxiety, because it's been a big issue. She broke up with me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 119

Today, I was rearranging the cabinets above the washer and dryer, and the whole thing fell down on top of the washer. I had just put my clothes in the washing machine too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 714

You deserved it 91

Today, I inadvertently gave passers by the middle finger as I tried to stop my glasses from sliding off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 163

You deserved it 1 396

Today, after I confessed my feelings towards my long time crush two weeks ago and was rejected, he messaged me asking for a quick fuck, with no strings attached. I guess that’s all I am good for now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 206