Please consider divorce.

The old Ann Landers question was, “would my life be better with him or without him.”

What a weird thing to say in 2022 "my husband needs the money from my job". Consider divorce. Your work earns you money. Household has shared bills, not shared wages. If child isn't his then kick the bastard out If the child is his, then consider divorce and full custody Or maybe he is suffering from undiagnosed mental disorder then call correct authorities and get him into facility for adults incapable of handling life and basic tasks. Personally I would have already left him, people always say I can't leave , and he will change and I have nowhere to go, but all of it is being afraid to change and afraid of not being worthy enough to reserve better. Do yourself a favour and see value in yourself, you certainly aren't being respected and valued member of household. What husband does is abuse, recognise it and leave. Out of curiosity was he before working and helping around house? Or is he recently unemployed, sick, he changed one day to become useless helpless manchild? Was he like this before wedding, child? I cannot imagine sharing same living space with someone who cannot wash his own dishes and clean after themselves. Even children wouldn't get out of clearing their own stuff, why does he have such a comfortable life when you're a modern day slave. And a man needs your money??? Like does he need it for bus fare, CV printing, medication, work interview? Groceries that he doesn't buy? Like how is his money needs justified, what does he need to buy if he is doing nothing at all.

So I take it he’s not working then? Honestly even if he is working he should be helping around the house. There’s two people in there making it a home, using things, so TWO people should be helping out and equally sharing responsibilities. He can either work more or just as much as you, and share the responsibilities, or if he doesn’t want to work then he better be doing like 90-100% of the household chores & responsibilities. Lay out the options for him, otherwise if he won’t change it’s time to move on from this marriage

Hey, at least you're not single. Am I right?

Start with a pros and cons list the pros of if he stays the cons of if he stays, the pros of if he leaves and the cons of if he leaves. Add in how many times he has contributed to the household by himself, how much he contributes money wise by himself, and how many times you have asked him to contribute to the household and how often you have to ask him to contribute money wise. When I say contributes I mean how many times does he do chores for you without you having to ask him to do the chores for you how many times does he help pay the bills without you asking him to help pay the bills things like that. If he contributes without you asking whether it’s by chores or moneywise and chores could include cooking or doing the laundry. Then I would put that as a pro but if you have to ask him and I’m not talking about ask him once but ask him over and over and over and over and over again and you might wanna put that on the cons but it depends on how you look at things as well.

he does it because you tolerate it. tell him if you're going to do it all alone then you're going to do it ALONE, and stick to it

At least stop doing things for him, then stop giving money then divorce might be an option. But seek counseling all the way through.

You don't need to quit your job; you need to quit your husband

You need a spine, woman! You've even got your toddler walking all over you. Use your voice and your actions and your new attitude and start getting things done. He does not have to be there to finalize a divorce.