Intimacy: What a Q-tip - FML

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Spicy

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 536

You deserved it 6 482

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Headshot!

By Amb - 01/06/2010 23:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I realized my boyfriend makes the same noises in bed as he does when he's winning in Call of Duty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 060

You deserved it 6 197

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 852

You deserved it 1 951

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 374

You deserved it 5 764

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 579

You deserved it 4 974

By Helseac - 17/12/2018 03:00

Spicy

Today, I noticed my husband makes better sex sounds on the toilet then he does with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 440

By Anonymous - 02/06/2012 10:24 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Spicy

Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 242

You deserved it 32 718

By kblevss - 05/01/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 771

You deserved it 5 718

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 280

You deserved it 2 745

By merpaderp14 - 09/09/2013 06:15 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 103

You deserved it 5 958

Handjob

By Anonymous - 20/11/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, I heard my boyfriend masturbate next to me and then relieves himself on my bed sheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 045

You deserved it 896

Next

Top comments

grahmagog 14

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:30

Clean your ears more often and you'll understand why

ManInTheMachine 19

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:37

Sounds like he found his q-spot.

Comments

Pleonasm 35

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:39

It's all about the cochlear dunking.

RoboCunnilingus 23

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:41

He's doing it right.

TogeBara 12

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:44

That shit is euphoric...I don't get off to it myself, but it feels good man. You should blow in his ear lightly next time you are intimate with him. That should really get his guns blazin

jenn1808 16

Wednesday 26 June 2013 5:02

Haha I mentioned once that my ears are sensitive and now my boyfriend thinks it's hot to blow in them like a hurricane. Not so sexy in practice.

LaLince 40

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:45

It's normal. Don't worry.

Wizardo 33

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:45

Nothing better than putting the Q-Tip in and giving it all you have... orgasmic.

onorexveritas 23

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:49

its pleasurable to some

RedPillSucks 31

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:52

Does he ejaculate as well?

Wizardo 33

Wednesday 26 June 2013 10:10

Yes his ears started to produce obscene amounts of cochineal fluid...

Elgeehache 4

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:55

You should be happy you give him pleasure like that of an eargasm.

Vlad567 5

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:55

I think I the past life he might of been a ferengi lol

Californialuvv 7

Tuesday 25 June 2013 22:56

are you sure bout that?

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I agree, your life sucks 34 430

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I agree, your life sucks 13 664

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