Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he sat down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
Turn on the sprinklers/hose. Or get a dog to chase him off. or get the police to haul him off, whichever's the most amusing.
lulubelles 33
Call the police, if he's on your lawn it's trespassing. Who knows what else someone that mentally unstable will do once he thinks you're asleep.
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Comments (130)
Morgiepoooh9822 17
Why would op let him follow her home? I'd jog straight to the friggin police station if someone wouldn't leave me alone.
pattayarick 8
You MUST HAVE known that when you said yes to running with you, that it meant that you wanted sex with him. F'n wake up to what assholes us men are.
Ariet 20
Call the cops, plain and simple. He may stalk you in the future since he now knows where you live and if you don't take action now.
hotpinkcarma 4
And u haven't called the cops yet, y?
dutch_girl13 20
U should ask him what he's trying to do/get by sitting on ur lawn. Call the police before though. Keep him talking just in case he's planning a way to break in or something.
ShakeDisPlace 10
Throw some fire crackers at him OP.
yeongji 31
You should have noticed something was not right when you told him you were done and going to head home. If I was you, I would not head straight home. As for him not leaving your lawn, tell him you would call the cops on him if he does not leave. It is your property and after he leaves, I would take extra precaution in case he shows up again.
noelasis94 18
I didn't read your comment but its long and took some time, so ill comment you about nothing.
athos1237 4
Call the police
emmydafox 16
Call the cops OP, it's the safest thing to do. Hope things work out.
RealtreeGirl23 9
Paintball guns work wonders.