Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he sat down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
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Top comments
flashback.miss 28
Turn on the sprinklers/hose. Or get a dog to chase him off. or get the police to haul him off, whichever's the most amusing.
lulubelles 33
Call the police, if he's on your lawn it's trespassing. Who knows what else someone that mentally unstable will do once he thinks you're asleep.
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Comments (130)
LookAttMyyLifee 12
Over 4 hours ? & he knows where you live ? Nothing can save you now.. Call the police , restraining order !
RedPillSucks 33
A restraining order is useless with the mentally unbalanced.
BrookRae 19
Then he'll go to jail or go to a mental institution.
Kalipczo 21
If he's on your property and won't go away after you asking him, you can call the cops and they will force him to leave
DollyDope 17
Sooo... You allowed, by which I mean LED, this stranger to your home. Now you're permitting him to go into his fourth hour of taking up residency on your lawn. You must have nerves of steel.
RedPillSucks 33
or balls of jello
SweetasCandy0609 28
wow i think he forgot to take his crazy pills today, I would just get a bucket of Ice water and pour it in him.
KiddoKS 19
Or he took the crazy pills and forgot to take his sane ones!
fluffycatsdad 33
Call the police, and, if you can, get someone you trust to stay with you until they arrive. Hope they lock him up!
imtooshy 18
I think you might deserve this one, I'd never allow any stranger while I was out walking, running or anything to tag along to the point of my doorstep! That should be common sense....we all know there's too many weirdos in this world. No matter what you do, you allowed this idiot to know where you live!
Frenchtony 17
I think it's funny, I mean he sure is crazy, but he seems to be the good kind of crazy.
SmilieAKD 20
How is he the good kind of crazy? I'd be afraid he was going to murder me in my sleep.
asparagus12 21
Maybe he just wants a date and he is trying to mimic a rom com. If people behaved that way in real life it would be just like this situation.
KevinFlynn 13
that's when its time to call the cops
SiegeOfTheSiren 9
I hope you didn't exclaim "**** me running!" in frustration.
hugozac88 22
Wow this guy is really determined to be your running buddy