Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he sat down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
flashback.miss 28
Turn on the sprinklers/hose. Or get a dog to chase him off. or get the police to haul him off, whichever's the most amusing.
lulubelles 33
Call the police, if he's on your lawn it's trespassing. Who knows what else someone that mentally unstable will do once he thinks you're asleep.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
worldclassrager 41
Well you made a friend...could have offered him a glass of water or something....if this keeps happening take a different Route...
RedPillSucks 33
too late. he now knows where OP lives and simply has to wait for OP to start running again.
ilesuk 11
Perhaps it's time to call the cops?
Omniprism 15
Call the cops.
Jemm_fml 29
I don't blame him, you had a good thing going and you just destroyed the relationship without warning! I hate it when the people I jog with do that.
smileyshraddhas 9
Call the police! In the mean time, sprinklers, dog, and don't forget the air horn!
Ibeatmyself 3
If your in Texas you can't shoot People on your property it's the law
RedPillSucks 33
I'm not a lawyer, but I think that's false, especially in Texas.
allforyoux3 25
As a Texas girl and a Criminal Justice student/future cop, that is completely false. You have every right to defend yourself on your property if you feel that you are in danger. This includes shooting someone if you have to.
bellydancer82 15
Sounds like you've made a new friend...
Natsphotos1 9
And e That's why you don't let strangers run with you
Zebediabolical 45
Mom! Mom! Look what followed me home! Can I keep him? Huh? Huh? Can I? I'll feed him and run him and bathe him every single day! Can I? Huh?
dutch_girl13 20
Haha
Myo_fml 20
For some reason, I'm reminded of that scene in Forrest Gump where he gets the convoy of people behind him running that get all upset when he stops and doesn't say much about it.