Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he sat down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML
Collection
College Life
Packed lecture halls, a sketchy roommate and frat parties: welcome to college, the real thing.
Today, while on my run, I saw a middle-aged man sleeping near a business condo. I approached him and asked if he was "ok." He grabbed my leg, held onto it with a death-grip, and moped about how horrible his life was - for ten minutes. At least the weather was nice. FML
Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML
Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML
Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML
Today, I gave a man a cigarette. He spent the rest of the day so far following me around, telling me all about his medical history, and chasing after me when I got too far away. I couldn't get rid of him for hours. FML
Today, I picked the treadmill next to an old man so I could feel better about myself. He ran faster and longer than I did. FML
Today, I was jogging through my neighborhood and then I notice this cute guy running beside me, we stoped and flirted for a while and my mom drove past. She then rolled down the window and said "Honey, you owe me for the dry cleaning on your period pants." FML
Today, I was running with two other women when a guy started tailing us in his car and catcalling. I quickly got fed up and gave him the finger. Turns out, he's the husband of one of the women I was running with. For the next half hour, I had to listen to her go on about how adorable he was. She totally saw what I did. FML
Today, I was out jogging, when I saw a girl fall off her bike and start crying. I ran over to see if she was hurt. Apparently her neighbour thought I was trying to kidnap her, because he ran out with a baseball bat and threatened to beat me to death if I didn't get lost. FML
Today, I'm hiding in my own house, because my crazy neighbor wants to "play." Yesterday when I agreed, she made me spend the whole day with her, then burst into tears when I had to leave. She's been waiting outside for over two hours. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
flashback.miss 28
Turn on the sprinklers/hose. Or get a dog to chase him off. or get the police to haul him off, whichever's the most amusing.
lulubelles 33
Call the police, if he's on your lawn it's trespassing. Who knows what else someone that mentally unstable will do once he thinks you're asleep.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (130)
Sacytrl 28
Call the cops...
tazmanmike2013 17
This is obviously a reference to Forest Gump. YDI because its obviously a reference to the movie.
beclaurela 18
This sounds like a plot for a romcom movie.
TogeBara 12
tell him he laid down on dog poop when he gets up spray him with the hose and if he comes at you run inside and call the cops, or shank him. Either or, but I'd probably shank this crazy fool
brandiivictoriaa 7
well.... time for you to mow the lawn.
SkyGuy32 17
Oh dear.
SoulHunter36 16
That sounds like something Remi Gaillard would do but you live in America and he lives in France so it's probably not him.
outoftown 27
Damn, where's that attacking housecat when you need him?
Bunny21 11
4 hours?! What's taking you so long to call the cops!!!!???
LyraAlluse 25
Jogging man; he takes stalking to the next level! Watch as the sprinklers chase him away followed shortly after by the cops and old lady with a wrench in this amazing summer blockbuster film!