Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me that I have the bad habit of not doing the dishes before he has his daily piss in the sink. FML
Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML
Today, my boyfriend did the washing as an attempt to help me. Not only are all my clothes now pink, he refuses to do the dishes, vacuuming, bathroom, ironing etc., as he has done "plenty." FML
Today, I explained to my man child of a boyfriend that we don't reuse dirty dishes. We have to wash them. He doesn't think it's gross and yelled at me, throwing the pan in the sink. Oh, he also refuses to wash dishes. FML
Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, the one who does all the cooking in the house, doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend's farts got so bad that we made a deal: every day that he doesn't fart, he gets a blowjob. Suddenly, he's not letting gas out anymore. FML
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Top comments
nebula748 14
What did you expect?
docscientist 10
I guess you should have him eat out more.
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Comments (356)
josiemorehouse 12
hahaha typical guy!! :) next time, make it a hand job, it's easier on your jaw, lol!!!
robberry 11
He's a lucky man!
monkeyluvz 7
I would take that as a compliment! He likes the way your mouth works honey! :P
HomeAl0ne 20
Well, it sounds like it's working for both of you, but maybe you need to amend the contract.
Skatejock21 0
WIN! hahaha I am so jealous... I'd be MORE then happy to do dishes for a ********. Heck, I'll do laundry for a hand job as a second. If he did the dishes 3 times a day... you should be happy! He's happy he got a ******** and you're happy to have clean dishes. It's a win-win situation.
TheNewGuy03 29
what are you waiting for, op? you have several loads to take care of! |the kid|
abby1029 8
lol well he loves ur blow jobs :P
kspear2 12
get to suckin
jess6blondie9 3
Well that's your fault. You make a man work for a *******, he's gonna work for it.
abstract101 0
enjoy.