you mean ex-boyfriend

Today I snuck into my ex-boyfriend's house at 9 AM to surprise him...

No no. That's a terrible start. Bad idea.

#8: That's why restraining orders were invented.

#10 You can't restrain love, baby.

Usually I don't agree with people who jump straight to "leave him/her" in relationship FML's but in this case I must agree... Please, OP, please tell me you aren't still with that douchewaffle?

#15: That's what I tell the police but they still won't unlock my handcuffs. :(

Maybe if you stopped trying to hump them as they restrained you, you wouldn't still be in them, Welshite.

I can't win, it seems. When I was arrested for humping them, I tried to show that I was willing to change for the better. Sadly, it appears that they have little appreciation for modern dance as even my twerking was deemed indecent. I had a foam finger and everything. :'(

#1, she should at least give the three-way a chance.

You young people today are so quick to throw things out!

Or she can say "boyfriend"

16, I've never heard douchewaffle before, but it is an appropriate name.

I'm with #8. I'm tired of seeing people say "you mean ex boy/girlfriend" because that would imply that they were already exes.

I hate it because it's stupid and unoriginal. I'm confused as to why that comment is still upvoted even after being posted a thousand goddamn times.

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but whips and chains excite me.

ok ok #91, #8, and #100 I get your points now. maybe I should've said. "your New ex-bf "ill think of more original comments to bring to fml next time

#23 haha id probably give it a shot if everyone was in agreement.

Pretend u are shocked, but don't pretend to be his gf at first. Then scream at him while throwing all his crap at him. Don't get too mad at the girl. She probably doesn't know about you and is just as shocked

But...it'll be fun.

What is a Carrie underwood?

73- look up the video before he cheats by her and you'll understand.

giving advice on what to do after everything has happened and is over with is helpful....not

aww I am sorry OP I hope you find someone who will be truthful with you.

Ouch. On an anniversary? That's cold.

that reminds me of the little boy in grown ups two

Shows how much care he has in it. What a cold-hearted dick.

It could be worse. Imagine how horrible the 3rd girlfriend would feel when she arrives.

Orgy?

#5, you're right. Two is company. Three is a crowd. What's four? A fist fight, maybe?

Sorry that happened to you OP. But it's better you found out now than later. Wouldn't want to spend another year or so with a cheater.

Sorry OP. At least you know now, better late than never.

did he get you guys on the same day?

I think she was referring to ANOTHER kind of celebration...

true I didn't think of it like that

Men like him brings shame upon others...

He needs to know that's not a good way to have a threesome...

Or a relationship.