By vanillapudding6 - 14/10/2015 01:21 - Canada - Toronto
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In an effort of fairness, having witnessed much of my brothers divorce - my brother split custody with his ex as the primary. While he did want his son to have a relationship with both parents, she made my brothers life hell. She made nearly twice what he did for income but I found out that he paid nearly all of their sons bills. He also averaged 5 days a week with the son.
I don't understand why nobody else is asking why the kid knows his dad said this in the first place? From the FML it doesn't sound like the kid was there. It sounds like someone told OP after the fact. There is a reason the kids aren't there during these proceedings and this is a prime example. Its better to know now, true. The problem is why was OP told at all? That's something that would permanently scar a kid. During my parents divorce my mom would come home and tell me the same type of things, and I know it scarred me.
You are responsible for paying child support even if you don't have an income. You brought children into the world and you're required to help pay to raise them. My dad never had jobs long because once the courts found out he was working, they would start taking money from his checks. If he didn't have a job, they would put a warrant out and arrest him. He ended up owing 3 different women over $40,000 and has to make payments until its paid off no matter how old his kids are.
Child support rarely ever covers the cost of everything that a child needs. It would most likely be more expensive to have full custody. Well, as long as your actually taking care of the kids properly. I know it barely helped my mother. She didn't get more than $800 a month and there are 4 of us.
If you are the resident parent then realistically the child is going to be living at your house most of the time. That means you need to have a house big enough for their own bedroom plus the extra cost of food, electricity, gas, water, petrol for driving them around, clothes, pocket money, childcare and days out. The non resident parent will pay (in the UK) a set amount each month based on their income and the amount of nights they have the child. It's not half and half unless you set up an agreement outside of what the law is. You will realistically end up paying out more as a resident parent.
My parents had me and my brother when they were in their 30s and 40s because they were told they couldn't have kids, and they wanted them so badly. They're still together to this day and growing up I was always told "Your parents are so cool" because my parents actually cared about us. Sad to see that so many people who don't give a shit about their kids are able to have multiple and people who desperately want kids can't have any of their own.
That's awful and so stupid! He obviously doesn't realise that it's way more expensive to be the resident parent anyway, so the jokes on him!
ugh, unfortunately all it takes to be a father is fertilizing an egg...it's a shame some people can't be banned from procreating :(