By vanillapudding6 - Canada - Toronto
Today, my mom and dad went to court to negotiate child support for me and my brothers. During the meeting, my dad was asked, "Sir, are you saying that the only reason you want your sons to live with you full time is so you don't have to pay child support?" To which he responded, "Yes." FML
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  concorde_fml  |  6

In an effort of fairness, having witnessed much of my brothers divorce - my brother split custody with his ex as the primary. While he did want his son to have a relationship with both parents, she made my brothers life hell. She made nearly twice what he did for income but I found out that he paid nearly all of their sons bills. He also averaged 5 days a week with the son.


I don't understand why nobody else is asking why the kid knows his dad said this in the first place? From the FML it doesn't sound like the kid was there. It sounds like someone told OP after the fact. There is a reason the kids aren't there during these proceedings and this is a prime example. Its better to know now, true. The problem is why was OP told at all? That's something that would permanently scar a kid. During my parents divorce my mom would come home and tell me the same type of things, and I know it scarred me.

  chinaski7628  |  32

23—Why would it be cheaper for a father to have custody? Wouldn't the cost of raising a kid be the same regardless of whether a mother or a father has custody? Or do you mean it would be cheaper in general to have custody than to pay child support? Am I missing something?

  Enslaved  |  36

Why would it cost more for the dad? If he had full time custody, then the mom should be the one paying the child support. Why are the dads the only ones paying?


You are responsible for paying child support even if you don't have an income. You brought children into the world and you're required to help pay to raise them. My dad never had jobs long because once the courts found out he was working, they would start taking money from his checks. If he didn't have a job, they would put a warrant out and arrest him. He ended up owing 3 different women over $40,000 and has to make payments until its paid off no matter how old his kids are.

  Redgy22  |  26

Great question! You should ask my husband's ex wife who never bothered to pay the $20.00 a month child support which was supposedly for her daughters allowance. Costs too much to take her back to court over it, unfortunately.

  RainEliseWolf  |  16

Child support rarely ever covers the cost of everything that a child needs. It would most likely be more expensive to have full custody. Well, as long as your actually taking care of the kids properly. I know it barely helped my mother. She didn't get more than $800 a month and there are 4 of us.

  mimiminx  |  23

If you are the resident parent then realistically the child is going to be living at your house most of the time. That means you need to have a house big enough for their own bedroom plus the extra cost of food, electricity, gas, water, petrol for driving them around, clothes, pocket money, childcare and days out. The non resident parent will pay (in the UK) a set amount each month based on their income and the amount of nights they have the child. It's not half and half unless you set up an agreement outside of what the law is. You will realistically end up paying out more as a resident parent.

  Wondermage  |  5

I think what #6 means is it's unfortunate that it's so easy (for most people) to become a parent when people like OP's father don't deserve the privilege.


My parents had me and my brother when they were in their 30s and 40s because they were told they couldn't have kids, and they wanted them so badly. They're still together to this day and growing up I was always told "Your parents are so cool" because my parents actually cared about us. Sad to see that so many people who don't give a shit about their kids are able to have multiple and people who desperately want kids can't have any of their own.

  countryb_cth  |  38

@54 I had people say the exact same thing to me since my parents are in the same boat as yours. My mom & dad desperately wanted more kids but were only able to have me. But yet I have friends who have multiple siblings and their parents are just awful. I agree that it's extremely unfair.

By  amileah13  |  26

Some dad you've got. Sucks because you didn't chose to be his kid. I'm sorry op, I hope everything goes well for you and your siblings

  toastbrot  |  9

His chances of getting full time child support of his sons would have been so much higher if he lied. it was better that he told the truth so OP won't be under his "care".