Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was at a pie auction. During it, I had to hold a pie in a glass case to be sold. In the middle of the auction, I raised my hand to scratch my face, and dropped the pie and broke the glass. It was worth $1000. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
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Top comments
Zebidee 9
Them: "OMG! You have a swastika branded into your face!!" You: "Yeah, I got it years ago when I was in charge of the ovens." Them: *looks horrified* *runs away* You: "No! You don't understand! I was working in a bakery!!!" You: "FML."
FFML_314 12
Swastika shaped pie racks. Sounds like a very family oriented place.
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Comments (91)
Zebidee 9
Them: "OMG! You have a swastika branded into your face!!" You: "Yeah, I got it years ago when I was in charge of the ovens." Them: *looks horrified* *runs away* You: "No! You don't understand! I was working in a bakery!!!" You: "FML."
Stormblessed 0
Haha, cruel but hilarious. This actually made me laugh. Most coments I can acknowledge as amusing/entertaining, but few make me literally "lol." Kudos to you, sir.
Incubuss 0
******* amazing.
Turtle_Mode 0
lol win
Geiko_fml 0
Hahahahah. That's pretty good.
Zebidee 9
Yeah, the joke was pretty marginal, but I tried to write it so as to not be a dick. Living in Germany, this stuff is a pretty big deal, and I have some strong opinions on the subject (anti, not pro!) I'm glad it came across the way it was intended.
FYLDeep 26
I felt like you stole part of it from me though. At least it's somewhat of a fresh take on the same angle.
MissErikaHart 0
deserves some credit^ not really... a little
Zebidee 9
Oh, FYLdeep - sorry - I didn't read yours in connection with mine, but of course partial credit can go to both you and #8, which is also a related joke.
Dion_fml 2
try to "change" the shape of the burn, by burning it again... example: _ |_|_ _| | This is what you have... just adjust it a bit until you have this: ____ |_|_| |_|_| This is what i did when i had a swastika on my face with permanent marker
zzzjakezzz 0
l_ l
Perplex_fml 2
lmao try not to scare children with it FYL
hahaalolz 0
children won't understand what a swastika is or means... dahhh
CiaranPM 0
It means good luck or peace.
RedPillSucks 33
If you're chinese, or hindu.
chickenboy1327 1
lol. go beat up some Jews. jk. jk. jk.
aardvarkish 17
Don't worry. A Swastika is an ancient sign for good luck among the ancient Indo-Iranians (aka Aryans).
Air_Force001 0
your one that gots the swastika mixed up with the Aryans symbol I believe..
aardvarkish 17
61, thank you, my man. I normally refrain from correcting people who accuse me wrongly because I don't want it to be just a two-person argument. It's awesome when some one with a real clue steps in.
VertigoSD 0
Can I get a picture of that? lol
xxdjsikoxx 0
That would suck if you scar easy, and if your from a Jewish family .....
Petawhitney 2
Kat von d's tattoo concealer covers everything from tattoos to burns. Purchase a bottle at your local sephora.
far_east 6
its the buddha symbol man, buddha came first then adolf took it and named it schwablah
silentsniper441 0
im pretty sure he made it go the other direction too
QwertyMcNugget 0
Now how exactly does one manage to get such a mark? O.o