Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML
Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML
Quit staring
Today, I was written up at work for "leering at my boss". I'm so sorry for having my eyes sore due to lack of sleep. FML
Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML
Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML
Where am I?
Today, I fell asleep while taking a dump. At work. FML
Today, I was asleep and snored so loud that I woke myself up. I was at work and I am now the laughing stock of the office. FML
Not funny, guys
Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML
Nighty night
Today, I got into trouble for sleeping at work. FML
Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML
Top comments
flowerfliff 18
Wow i did nazi that coming
jen1097 25
You snooze you lose ;)
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Comments (78)
flowerfliff 18
Wow i did nazi that coming
Hildy93 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ok you win the comments, no one else should even try to say anything more
MDoremis 38
I see what you did there.
gracehi 33
This comment was so funny, Auschwitz myself laughing.
RealSuperSand 21
That was bad and you should feel bad.
teentee401 37
#34 should shut up, Anne frankly he should never comment again.
ALegitOreo 11
These are great, we need to keep this chain going führer
e_is_for_eli 12
all of these Nazi puns are out of mein kampfort zone.
rlak111 19
That wasn't reich
candyolympics 17
#10, you missed the chance to say "I see what Jew did there"
xsydneyx123 28
You guys are breaking my concentration. Camp you see I'm trying to read the other comments?
One_Way 43
You'll get über it.
BananaCoconutty 26
Did Jew not see it coming?
koulz 12
Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein!
zman92 13
Man thats not funny my great grandfather died during the holocaust. He fell out of his guard tower.
fsomelife 26
Wow, on Victory Day, too. Honestly hope your fists find his face a few times.
jen1097 25
You snooze you lose ;)
toxicdaydream 18
Hope you don't got the Hitler comb over to top it off
chanellgymnast 17
And let the games begin!
Cads1 24
Should not sleep on the job.
Extem 7
Should not draw swasticas on people's heads
devildog562 33
I fell asleep at work .... You deserved it before I finished the sentence . The swastika is a very misunderstood symbol, destroyed by Adolf. Your co worker is a dick but you are a shitty employee .
leogachi 15
Your comment is absolutely perfect.
scyth3s 13
On graveyard, it's not always that simple. I've worked 10pm to 7am for 6ish months straight. I try to get 8 hours of sleep a day but sleep just isn't the same when the sun is out. Many of my co-workers have young kids who are up during the day, and you can't just tell kids to be quiet all day and pretend their daddy didn't exist. The bottom line is that a person needs sleep and night shift often prevents a good sleep schedule-- so some sleep WILL, in nearly all graveyard cases, happen at work. You really have to understand that a large portion of long-term graveyard shifters are chronically sleep deprived, and that short naps on shift, even if against the rules, are healthy. They call it graveyard shift for a reason
brisbanegirl 21
How do you know he didn't fall asleep on his break? I know on night shift we have an hour break and a lot of nurses nap on their breaks.
justsayin91 10
actually, no no matter what shift you work, you don't sleep on the job I have worked what you call the graveyard shift for 5 years now, often time being up 24 or once even 32 hours straight, and not once have I slept on the job. it may be acceptable to you, but that just you're just a shitty an employee at the OP is. I don't care what you do if you're sleeping you're not working and sorry but no one is paying you to sleep. suck it up drink some caffeine and do your job. you can sleep at home.
devildog562 33
"While working " not on out lunch break or nap break. I've worked grave yard for years and years and yes in a hospital. Take the context how it lies . While working implies that he dozed off while working . Sleep deprived or not , if you can't do your job get a different one or call off if you feel that tired . That shit pisses me off that someone would defend that . Oh well options are free I guess .
magicmastar2 1
You are being paid to do a job tired or not that's no excuse and before you get on me like I don't understand I am a full time student taking night classes and have a full time job almost every night being the night shift (I work after class) having only Wednesday and Sunday off averaging 6 hours of sleep a day and have been doing so for 6 months and am yet to sleep on the job. And that's not even mentioning my kids
scyth3s 13
If you think everyone who ever slept on shift is a shitty employee, you really should argue that with my 3 quarterly awards plaques, in 2 years. Some rules are just stupid, especially when they are to the detriment of employees' mental health. There are plenty of studies out there showing increased productivity and morale for businesses who allow short naps. It's a trend in several parts of Europe. Now I sincerely doubt that any 5 year graveyard shifter has NEVER dozed off on shift. You've probably had unwitting micro-naps and sparsely populated had bobs. Do you really think that's healthy? Graveyard gives the majority of folks at least some considerable sleep deprivation.
JayGatsby 25
#57, I have one question: Did the people who gave you the award know that you doze off during work? Also, no one is questioning the difficulty of working the graveyard shift, people are just saying that if you can't handle it, switch to a different shift or a different job.
Sora_McKain 36
@29 I guess I'm the exception then. I have been working graveyards for 6 years, and I have never fallen asleep or "cat napped" at work. Although I do agree with you about being chronically sleep deprived, though for me that probably has more to do with going about my day on only 5 hours sleep. My problem now is that I had recently switched to the evening shift (3pm to 11pm), and thus am able to sleep at night. My body is still getting use to the change though, and so I am getting less sleep then I am used to (my normal 5 hours of sleep a day).
YFOS_fml 17
damn that's gotta suck!
Exaspera 55
Inglorious Basterd...The movie, right?
Destinee_1 13
Ooohh that's a dirty trick