Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was at a pie auction. During it, I had to hold a pie in a glass case to be sold. In the middle of the auction, I raised my hand to scratch my face, and dropped the pie and broke the glass. It was worth $1000. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Zebidee 9
Them: "OMG! You have a swastika branded into your face!!" You: "Yeah, I got it years ago when I was in charge of the ovens." Them: *looks horrified* *runs away* You: "No! You don't understand! I was working in a bakery!!!" You: "FML."
FFML_314 12
Swastika shaped pie racks. Sounds like a very family oriented place.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (91)
LemonStarship 5
You make Hitler proud.
Antoineito 0
lol ouch, i feel bad for when people look at you strange for the next week
bigbadtim 7
Pie Nazzi.
bigbadtim 7
*Nazi.
PwningLamp1 0
Neo Nazi?!?!?!
CiaranPM 0
Heil!
vesperviper76 0
Dang!! Sorry :(
Flipflops4ever 0
Tell ppl you've converted to Hinduism - it is an ancient sacred symbol in that religion
starile 20
Who WOULDN'T like to be surrounded by pies?
denvan 0
Adolf lives as a pie nazi. Seems like you wanted to be Harry Potter
Honesty4U 0
That sucks hard for you but it made me laugh so hard!