Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I sliced my finger on a frozen chicken cutlet. FML
Today, I was making sweet potato chips using my new slicer. I didn't mean to make a pinky finger chip as well. FML
Today, I was making myself lunch. I love cooking, and often, I pretend I'm on the Food Network. I started to slice some tomatoes rapidly, which, turns out, was a big mistake; I sliced my thumb open. FML
Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML
Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
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Top comments
malisa916 7
Now there's going to be a lot of dumb criminals trying to rob a deli for the slicer so they can cut off their fingerprints as well.
Mehness 0
RIP Finger.
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Comments (102)
Mehness 0
RIP Finger.
Mehness 0
print. Get well soon?
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
so you cant be caught by the cop? be happy it wasn't your penis that would be a real fml
IVANTTOCOME 0
I'm not here to point fingers but, you obviously made a mistake somewhere.
fakeaccountX 6
Yeah, really. As soon as I saw the word "meat", I thought you had cut your dick off.
geovanni 9
it's time for crime!
itaimumwiro 8
crime
ScuseMePrincess 2
Don't worry, it'll grow back... Eventually.
Just_Me_143 0
...maybe
petergurll 0
eww ..
JocelynKaulitz 28
Well, if he ever steals anything he wouldn't have to worry about fingerprints now ;)
Cowgirl_boots 0
awww that made me cringe!
transilvanianson 3
this will also make you cringe! read it out loud! "put a big wooden splinter between your toe and your nail and kick the wall as hard as you can."
maphineRAWRS 10
I work in a deli and I'm shit scared of doing that every single time....
VeeVengeance 0
shut up
ThatLooksSticky 16
good god...that costume is cringe-worthy!
maphineRAWRS 10
lol no, shut the **** up you filthy mutt.
daminantion 14
damn you girls got some bite. MUD FIGHT
jakegryan 0
give some lovin to the ssgt 3 time veteran... I need it's
TripleD76 1
haha yes I think a mudfight will solve this!
malisa916 7
Now there's going to be a lot of dumb criminals trying to rob a deli for the slicer so they can cut off their fingerprints as well.
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
better hurry up and go commit as many crimes as possible with that finger before your print grows back. the world is your finger's oyster. <-- that sounded dirtier than I intended.
bethan1 4
That would work if she only used one finger the rest of them still have finger prints, silly.
skittle68 0
Do finger prints grow back? Wouldnt your finger tip just be covered in scar tissue?
nerdsgetmehot 22
#37 If there were scar tissue there, then that means no fingerprint...
starile 19
Yeah, 39, that's what he's asking. Which comes out, scar tissue or fingerprint?
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
fingerprints do grow back. I once accidentally sanded off the tip of one of my fingers on a huge woodshop disc sander. grew back surprisingly fast actually.
nerdsgetmehot 22
#54 Yes, I know. And I answered that there would probably be scar tissue.
nerdsgetmehot 22
Of course, #59 just proved me wrong. So there goes my theory! :P
ChibiChibi_fml 27
Even if it was just scar tissue though that would still in and of itself create a print that could be linked back to the OP if they had reason to suspect them. I know they wouldn't have the scar print in the system or anything but it would still be an identifiable marker.
gusgus36 5
aah sounds painful :(
underpaid011 0
free pass to rob a bank!! I'm sure you could the extra cash. watch for dye packs
perdix 29
Usually, the customers are the ones who GIVE the tips, not get them. So, some lucky customer has unwittingly become a cannibal.
XelaKJK 0
haha nice one!