Today, while working at the bakery, I slipped on a pen. I dropped the pie rack I was holding full of pies right on my face. I now have a burn mark on my cheek that looks like a swastika. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML
Today, at work, I managed to hit myself in the face with a large sheet pan. The force made me back into a shelf, which knocked a box off the top, which hit me in the head and knocked me out-cold. I now have a fat lip, a sore head, and bruises all over from the fall. FML
Today, I was at a pie auction. During it, I had to hold a pie in a glass case to be sold. In the middle of the auction, I raised my hand to scratch my face, and dropped the pie and broke the glass. It was worth $1000. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
Today, I fell asleep while working the night shift. It took me 3 hours and a whole lot of dirty looks while walking home before I looked in a mirror and saw my cockbite of a coworker had drawn a swastika on my forehead while I was asleep. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Today, I went to kiss my girlfriend on the neck while she was cooking on the stove. Apparently I scared her and now I have a nice burn mark on my head from the hot frying pan she hit me with. FML
Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML
Today, I burned my left breast with hot oil at work. Everyone's now calling me "toaster strudel" and singing "This girl is on fire" every time we cross paths. FML
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Top comments
Zebidee 9
Them: "OMG! You have a swastika branded into your face!!" You: "Yeah, I got it years ago when I was in charge of the ovens." Them: *looks horrified* *runs away* You: "No! You don't understand! I was working in a bakery!!!" You: "FML."
FFML_314 12
Swastika shaped pie racks. Sounds like a very family oriented place.
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Comments (91)
harryman04 0
ich liebe mein führer!!! gehe hitler. ich has die jeuden I love my leader (hitler). go hitler. I hate the Jews.
SAMHAlN 0
I'm jealous that sounds awesome
bcbomb 0
Haha! Classic
labratory5 0
lol that's hella sick
nood_fml 0
you could just put a band aid over it....
howipostfml 0
I like team Bush. George W. Bush. I mean he did murder the American economy and soon we will all die from it.
aardvarkish 17
Dream on...
brookig 10
Hope it doesn't leave a scar!
EnVii_THiiS 0
That's pie-thetic!
TheOtherNewest1 6
The internet. You just won it.
CleverBotluvver 0
That sucks some serious dick. I am deeply sorry for you.