Health: Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels....

By opposableouch - 27/10/2009 18:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I sliced a deep gash into my thumb while carving up bagels. After putting a plaster on, I returned to my room to relax, where I lit a candle. The flame from my new lighter shot up, and set fire to the plaster on my thumb. Now I have a cut AND several burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 7 978

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Same thing different taste

Testing, testing

By BubbaYoshi117 - 07/01/2020 20:00 - United States - Kirkland

Today, I was refilling my lighter. Afterwards, I gave it a test light. I must've spilled some fluid because my thumb caught on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 431

You deserved it 1 280

By Anonymous - 07/03/2012 06:29 - United States

Today, I was cooking and I burned my thumb. I had some first-aid burn spray, so I sprayed it on. I went outside to smoke a cigarette, and when I flicked my lighter, my thumb went up in flames. Turns out that first-aid burn spray is flammable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 315

You deserved it 46 090

By HarvestMoon_gal - 24/07/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 106

You deserved it 10 661

Not my day, is it?

By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 733

You deserved it 348

By caitywebbkid - 11/12/2016 15:56 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was cutting some paper when I accidentally cut a sizeable chunk out of my finger. I went to my car to get my bumbag (I'm a lifeguard) so I could patch it up. I then promptly got a large piece of glass in my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 799

You deserved it 815

By SpontaneousAM - 15/04/2017 14:00 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while moving my wax burner away from the window, I spilled hot wax all over my hands, the wall, and in my electric fireplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 102

You deserved it 1 190

By Anonymous - 26/06/2012 05:44 - United States

Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 216

You deserved it 52 394

Glassed

By Penny - 17/10/2021 02:00

Today, I reached for my lip balm while laying in bed in the dark. I accidentally knocked my bedside lamp, and it fell on my hand and shattered. A huge glass fragment impaled my hand. I just got out of surgery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 873

You deserved it 160

By burnt - 13/08/2012 04:43 - Australia - Middle Swan

Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 150

You deserved it 3 360

Slasher

By Anonymous - 01/02/2010 05:00 - United States

Today, I sliced my finger open because my roommate's girlfriend put a broken ceramic plate in the recycling. I was putting some paper in the bin and all of a sudden, an inch and a half of my flesh is naked to the world. I don't have medical insurance, so I fixed it with Superglue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 731

You deserved it 9 384

dspadres 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 1:12

We didn't copy your language. You guys brought it with you when you colonized this country. Plaster as we know it is a chemical compound meant to seal holes in walls and such so it can be painted over. I would hope you guys don't put shit like that on your cuts. It can't be good putting whatever the hell is in that stuff in your blood stream.

leyash 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 0:31

Because it's a top brand name for covering wounds. That's why.

Comments

Sun_Kissed18 25

Tuesday 27 October 2009 23:08

Bad luck I'd say

Ajjas013 6

Wednesday 28 October 2009 2:59

Also why people have TWO thumbs. I think.

cookiepenguin 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 2:19

so u make bagels and live in thestone age. fascinating. ¿how is this an fml?

drummer_dude 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 23:10

Ouch D: hope it gets better soon!

Maxine17 8

Tuesday 27 October 2009 23:11

...I also have gashes and burns on my thumbs too due to my job. ...Fml? No.

Zezing 0

Friday 30 October 2009 17:52

Carving bagels? Plasters? CANDLES? What the **** is going on!?

FernandoTorres_fml 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 23:13

Time heals all, except your dignity.

Vert90 11

Tuesday 3 April 2012 4:17

And your virginity.

starry_eyed 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 23:14

Wow lol. That really just sucks.

perdix 29

Tuesday 27 October 2009 23:15

This would not be a good day to take up juggling chainsaws and bottles of acid.

DefyingGravity 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 23:17

Would any day be a good day to take up juggling chainsaws and bottles of acid?

perdix 29

Tuesday 27 October 2009 23:25

A day that you are showing a bit of dexterity and want to get on "America's Got Talent." How come that show is judged by two Brits and a guy who is a has-been here but an idol in Germany?