Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I'd thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML
Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, while at work, a woman left her credit card at my register. I tried to return it before she left. Seeing her getting into her car, I jogged after her and yelled, "Wait." She ran over my foot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Beck2209 0
Hey, elderly or young, female or male, I don't blame you at all.
omgwtftoni 0
it doesn't matter, her hands shouldn't have been anywhere near your butt.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (175)
lmaoatall 6
shitass. yeah she shouldn't have touched you, but that was still ****** up. do you know how serious you could have hurt her? you understand how much a hip replacement will cost you? I hope she files a complaint with management. that was an ass move. **** grannys life.
lmaoatall 6
I want to add another thing. I don't know what the laws are in canada, but here, pretty sure the cops would be paying your ass a visit.and I do believe excesive forse would come into play here, regardless if you stated you were defending yourself.
deathfyre8 13
The moment somebody uses unwanted force to touch your body you have every right to defend yourself. Even a judge would side with OP.
abasio 1
Wtf is wrong with you? You'd been serving her obviously, you knew she was an elderly woman so why on Earth would you "throw her to the floor"? You would have no case if you got fired for something that stupid. FYL for being you.
iReadFmlsFml 0
Took the words right out of my mouth, was just about to say that
MrSexyPants 14
Really, 'hiney'? And hurting an elderly woman? What we got here is a douchebag.
PurpleHaze93 0
Guys I dunno why everyone is talking as if the woman shouldn't have touched him. I really doubt she was meaning to touch his butt, it's just a subtle way of giving someone a tip. There's nothing wrong with it and there's nothing she shouldn't have done. He just sounds overly paranoid who's really weird about people touching his butt... Total YDI
XxGuard 0
words weren't good enough huh?
carnage1108 0
The throw-down is mightier than the voice-box
deviable 9
I hope she sues you for assault. it's never ok to throw anyone to the ground because they touched your ass.
paleontologist 8
...And it's never okay to touch someone's ass without their consent. In this case, it was OP's mistake, but still. If someone's touching you without your permission, you have the right to defend yourself.
alphatoomega 21
Pushing someone away or something like that to defend yourself is one thing. Throwing someone to the ground because they touched your ass is not okay as a first response, ever.
Crazy4Christ 0
u threw an old lady on the floor!?
some1azn 0
Geez, I wonder what would have happened if she tapped you on the shoulders. o.o That's crazy...
makenna2011 6
are Canadians always this violent? clubbing seals, throwing old ladies to the ground...geez
man_in_black08 28
if ur american, u dont deserve to be talkin abt non violence :)
mackop 0
haha soo you can shut up now.
wisericky 12
whats a hiney?
lmaoatall 6
hahahaha that's great^^^im still laughing today's fml's had me feeling peeved, but you helped me turn a cheek with that one!
Riemurasia 0
made me laugh because of your picture :P