Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I'd thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML
Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, while at work, a woman left her credit card at my register. I tried to return it before she left. Seeing her getting into her car, I jogged after her and yelled, "Wait." She ran over my foot. FML
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Top comments
Beck2209 0
Hey, elderly or young, female or male, I don't blame you at all.
omgwtftoni 0
it doesn't matter, her hands shouldn't have been anywhere near your butt.
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Comments (175)
towboater198425 6
who the **** says hiney? are you twelve?
DWORD 2
i would have asked for her number
Skroal_stomper 5
I hope you got fired idiot.
RileyL29 0
Baddd idea. You could get your restaurant in a world of trouble.
BluAndExile 0
oh man we got a tough guy... did you punch a 2 year old in the face for smiling at you too? your amazing -.-
Eros19 0
ASSHOLE!!!
LilaBear 2
you threw an old lady to the ground just because she touched your backside? geez, take a chill pill.
aegillesp 1
Well I suppose since OP is male and it was an old lady that touched his ass, this is OK, but if an elderly man touched a woman's that is just HIGHLY a no-no. wtf people! If you don't know the person, you don't have a right to touch anyone without their consent.
morella_xx 29
The FML is not that someone touched him, but that he threw her to the ground and felt bad about it immediately after. Which could have been prevented by not reacting violently in the first place, when a "Ma'am, please don't touch me." would have sufficed. So, yes, I would still say "YDI" if it was a young woman/older man. You don't get to go around beating people up because they do something you don't like.
xxmollyxx 25
What the hell?
Killerturtle 11
You got anger issues!