Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I'd thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML
Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, while at work, a woman left her credit card at my register. I tried to return it before she left. Seeing her getting into her car, I jogged after her and yelled, "Wait." She ran over my foot. FML
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Top comments
Beck2209 0
Hey, elderly or young, female or male, I don't blame you at all.
omgwtftoni 0
it doesn't matter, her hands shouldn't have been anywhere near your butt.
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Comments (175)
myndilou 3
lol wow that's intense.
WhiteZoneRedZone 6
Don't touch my junk!
Kla017 0
Wow I get that you were shocked but was it necessary to do that
heyred 11
Hiney? Are you five?
angellovesjake17 0
Hiney? I didn't know we went back to kindergarten! :)
5upernova 3
I hope you learned your lesson. Don't act on impulse on situations like this one.
harumph 7
Unless you got fired, it's not a FYL, but rather FHerLife. You were within your right to protect your hiney (unless the restaurant was a strip joint), and it could be instinct. There's plenty of youtube vids where people who surprise someone end up getting punched. If you want to leave a tip, leave it at the table or with the hostess, you don't stick it in someone's pocket.
morella_xx 29
So apparently the word "hiney" stuck with you from kindergarten, but not the "use your words, not your hands" lesson. What she did wasn't right at all, but I think the situation hardly called for a violent response.
choirnerd1808 0
today, after finally getting out of the hospital from hip surgery I went to eat at a restaurant. the waiter was lovely so I gave them a tip in their back pocket and they ended up throwing me to the ground shattering my hip. fml
pikapika94 0
I woulda flipped so get bent ya'll assholes who blame her