Smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 28/04/2012 01:55 - United States - Darien

Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
I agree, your life sucks 31 655
You deserved it 2 574

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I can imagine now what you would be saying to the cops. 'Help me officer I was robbed by a senior citizen.'

That's why you can't always trust old people. They look sweet but are all secret evil geniuses.


I can imagine now what you would be saying to the cops. 'Help me officer I was robbed by a senior citizen.'

1- That would be an interesting conversation

QueenQuay77 10

Thats crazy, even senior citizens are outta control nowadays, is it really that bad?

dominic1221 6

Uhhh, it's not exactly a new thing, kiddo. Plenty of evil old bags all through the last century too.

She probably planned it. I bet she'll ask someone else to help her cross the street and do the same to them.

IphonFML 6

It was a trap! *queue evil troll face*

grannies gone wild

Retirement isn't what it used to be!

32, at work my biggest shop lifters are the elderly. It costs a lot for them to stay alive, so they resort to breaking the law unfortunately.

FlamingTacos 7

Lloyd Christmas did that. "I got robbed by and old lady on a motorized vehicle. And I didn't even see it coming!"

Once the pension runs out, they gotta make ends meet somehow.

xoconnie 8

wow thats a first! well, you did a nice deed and then got screwed basically... good job for being helpful, but FYL

Best thing to do; after someone has bumped into you or anything always check for you wallet, keys, phone or anything in your pockets right after so you have a chance to get it back if anything was missing.

I would have said officer a random old lady stole my wallet

My mother runs a shop and has caught many elderly shoplifters; I'm sure it's nothing new.

GumStickExtraGmail 22

a comma in between me and officer.

jerseyboy732 16

and that's what you get for being nice

No good deed goes unpunished.

50 All good (don't know why it's getting down voted though).

It's true that the nice guy never wins, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't be nice. The fact that you're making someone's life better should be enough.

So Jerseyboy, you are saying I should be an asshole all the time? Idiot.

BeThePanda 1

Wow, everyone is being so hard on this guy. He's saying exactly what everyone else is saying; no good deed goes unpunished. He was even the first to say it!

starman02 12

Sneaky lady! She must have fingers like a snake ;)

Or she has ninja fingers.

lebronesque73091 12

What a bitch. You can't even trust old people these days.

0.o what kind of snakes do you have?

starman02 12

I really thought this comment was self explanatory.. Apparently not.. Snakes are sneaky, crafty little buggers.. Silent.. Kind of like a ninja. They will sneak up on there prey ( a.k.a the wallet ) and snatch it up. ... Do I need to explain more? Or do you kind of get what I was meaning??

Oh I get it, it's like a simile. I thought you meant that snakes have fingers..Fail lol.

Someone needs to go back to the fifth grade and learn sentence parts.... *cough cough*iheartstewie7*cough*

Do people have any decency these days? I just can't believe how so many people can commit a crime like that and not have any guilt over it.

breeY0 7

LOL i thought it said *asian lady* and i was going to comment on the potential rascist view of the situation

thiscrazything 1

Maybe they do have guilt, but are too hungry to do the right thing.

spekledworf 18

Jeez I bet she'd rob a paramedic too, if she had the chance

shanemaximo 7

Con artist 101: Never trust the elderly.

Judging by her dexterity; I would say she has had plenty of practice tuning out remorse.

That's why you can't always trust old people. They look sweet but are all secret evil geniuses.

QueenQuay77 10

She probably been doing it for years, so she got mega experience.

Suckers these days.

What is it with people being pickpocketed all the time these days? That's all half of the newer FMLs are about.

dominic1221 6

I wondered WTF you were talking about cause I haven't noticed that. So I searched and I only found 3 FMLs about pickpocketing. One on 04/27/2012, another on 04/19/2012, and another on 09/04/2009. You need rehab, sis?

If there's rehab for being slightly dramatic, it sounds like you could be the first to go. I've come across what feels like a bunch of pickpocketing FMLs as well, but if you're right they're just annoying re-runs. Chillax.

Lol no I don't need rehab, thanks anyway bro. But no seriously it seems like there were a lot more fmls of people being pickpocketed. Maybe they were worded differently, instead of pickpocketed they probably used the word stolen. All the same shit to me. Also sometimes the fmls are deleted after theyre posted, so a possibility? I should have known someone was going to get all technical about it!

90- Probably should've gotten your facts straight so no one would have to get technical about it.

Like I said, some others were probably worded differently. It doesn't really matter. I need to get nothing straight!

Hmm, kimmi you are wrong. I read FML every day for the past couple years, and there are quite a few about people getting stolen from, but nothing close to a pick-pocket situation. Well except for those three, that were just mentioned.

Well then, she isn't a nice old lady.

Jorcar 8

I guess she's a senior stealizen. This is my lame attempt at being witty, so sorry for wasting some time if I failed miserably.

KendratheUnicorn 0

You go Glen Coco :)

ash1rose 11

Definitely chuckle worthy :)

BradTheBrony 19

*vomits* Oh god! Please don't EVER do that again! (joking, joking...)

Old people are so dastardly, and they always get away with it!