Today, while working at a restaurant, an elderly lady stuck my tip in my back pocket as I was walking away. I wish I knew this before I'd thrown her to the floor for touching my hiney. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was working at the grocery store and a very old woman wanted to give me a tip for bagging her groceries. She slid a quarter into my pocket against my thigh as deep down as she could get it, then she gave me a smile and a wink. I was groped by a grandma. FML
Today, as I was bent over at my waitressing job, an elderly woman walked by and smacked my ass. I looked at her, shocked, and she said, "It was too tempting with you bent over like that, I have a dirty old mind." I didn't know whether to be flattered or horrified. Maybe both. FML
Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML
Today, while at work, a customer gave me a $20 tip. I explained to him we aren't allowed to accept tips, but he insisted. When I called the manager to report it, he pocketed my tip. FML
Today, I was at work at McDonald's, at the front counter when an elderly lady came up to me and whispered, "I just shit everywhere in your restroom," then turned around and walked out the door. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I was dining out with friends. I saw a mom instructing her young child to go to empty tables and take whatever cash had been left. I discreetly told the manager. He confronted the woman and pointed right at me. As she was being thrown out, she tossed a very heavy mug at my head. It hit me. FML
Today, I was waitering at the restaurant that I work at when I collected a credit card bill that was worth $120 and a big zero on the tip line. Angered, I turned to a co-worker and said "I knew this asshole wasn't going to tip me." The guy was standing right behind me with $30 in his hand. FML
Today, at work, an elderly lady came up to the cash register with a flyer in her hand, and asked if we had a certain item. I told her we did not have any left, and we would be getting more next week and if she wanted, I could give her a rain check. She hit me in the face with her purse. FML
Today, while at work, a woman left her credit card at my register. I tried to return it before she left. Seeing her getting into her car, I jogged after her and yelled, "Wait." She ran over my foot. FML
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Top comments
Beck2209 0
Hey, elderly or young, female or male, I don't blame you at all.
omgwtftoni 0
it doesn't matter, her hands shouldn't have been anywhere near your butt.
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Comments (175)
Kiirst_mt1994 26
here's a whole new reason to overreacting!
arielzbkny 0
Even if she did touch ur ass intentionally, u don't shove old ladies 2 the floor thats more disrespectful 4 her touching ur ass, I hope she tipped u less than $5
OL_What_FER 1
if I am touched unexpectedly I flinch out in that direction reflexivly and, unfortunately, have hurt a friend or two who was just fooling around and if I had self defense training it would probably had gone down like this too
LovexInfinity 5
C'mon seriously? She's an old lady!
lolz0701 4
YDI for saying hiney
BenTaz 7
FYL.......for being such a Douchebag that you would throw an elderly person to the ground. FYL
Felix_Solorzano 3
I understand your frustration with someone touching your ass, but you do have to remember they grew up in a different time and possibly in a different place where that was normal, You also should of asked/confronted her before you threw her to the ground. I like how it's justified because "she touched your hiney" but as a matter of fact she was just trying to be kind, I hope the guilt eats you inside out. Her husband,brother,father or whatever probably fought in the war so you could have your freedom, Just look at it now. Thrown back in their faces. If you can't already tell its really pissed me off.
olivialanee_ 0
oh my god! poor little grandma): that's so sad!
Kayla_BlowPop 21
I think that she probably didn't realize it was an old lady at first. She probably had her back turned to her. If that's the case then I don't really think it's her fault.
HUGBUG 23
Hiney? Just say butt