Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
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Top comments
iFizzgig 11
I see you fapping to cartoon **** in the future!
perdix 31
You may be past the point of ever getting laid. . . for free. You'd be surprised what enough cash could do. I'd bet that for a big enough stack of loonies, you can find a blue-haired ***** who will scream and moan like Marge Simpson for the 30 seconds you last inside her. Just show her the D'oh!
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Comments (172)
lil_mari21 5
Boing! >_
sweetcheex666 6
Stop watching cartoons and go out. Might change your whole life course
KeyboardWarrior 10
People don't stay out 24 hours a day. Maybe he watches cartoons when he comes home, after a long day of being 'out'.
VoteForTaco 8
Wow...FYL..That's all.
perdix 31
You may be past the point of ever getting laid. . . for free. You'd be surprised what enough cash could do. I'd bet that for a big enough stack of loonies, you can find a blue-haired ***** who will scream and moan like Marge Simpson for the 30 seconds you last inside her. Just show her the D'oh!
trippythehippy 6
Lmao
silentbutfunny 0
58 i beg to differ.
perdix 31
72, I agree with 58. You may not have to pay cash, but you might have to be nice to them before the sex and cuddle them afterwards. It's not a high price to pay, but it's something.
silentbutfunny 0
Nah, you don't HAVE to cuddle with them afterwards But yea i was talkin about $
docscientist 10
58 said, 'one form or another,' reading that should put you past the idea of paying money for sex... Are you trying to save face?
ddssuperstar 0
#16 She charges extra for the raspy voice.
flockz 20
but the sexy blue curvature of those feathers....
zombicidal 11
and the lovely column of blue hair (maybe blue just gets him off)
ICATiger 13
I could imagine him having an ****** when watching futurma!
RaquelW 7
I know I always do!
brianjman14 23
You're not alone. I get hard every time I see that gay couple on American Dad!
e7710040 0
#20 me too but then again im bie so i guess that explains it
ClassyCommando 13
115- as opposed to homoe? or straighte?
Haitian_Hardhead 0
Or u have a thing for cartoons..u ever think about that???
GoW_Chick 15
Hey that's not exactly true just find someone who's as into animated characters as you they have chatrooms for that so shouldn't be too hard
soccerguy2 11
you don't know what you will find in those chatrooms.
ChuckNorrisBeard 0
Like the chat roulette scene on south park...where they keep getting guys jacking off! XD
Cleo_Nemo_ 9
Blue is the best color. ^^