Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
iFizzgig 11
I see you fapping to cartoon **** in the future!
perdix 31
You may be past the point of ever getting laid. . . for free. You'd be surprised what enough cash could do. I'd bet that for a big enough stack of loonies, you can find a blue-haired ***** who will scream and moan like Marge Simpson for the 30 seconds you last inside her. Just show her the D'oh!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (172)
radiariad 0
U sound like a 60 yr old pedo.....wait pedos do get laid...nvm then
DontCLickOnMe456 0
Lol... You should try to get some **** on your phone or whatever and watch that... You will find that eventually it will be pretty damn hard to get a boner over a cartoon
20jetsgo 3
Correct
4kickin 8
Don't sweat it, I jerk it to hentai and normal **** it's not a problem. Besides getting boners from seeing sexual content and morning wood, when our bodies are in a nice calm state we do get random boners. so don't worry about it.
ghettobitch801 0
Dam loner:)
Kingbreezy04 10
Wow. Do you get one watching Family Guy, cause Lois is pretty fine.
Rawr07 0
Hit me up ;) if you respond to this i may give you my fb
cptawesomesauce 0
looks like someone has blue balls (/) ;,,,; (/)
jaycob11 0
******* loser
DJDude_Arazely 10
haha. Tha'ts just not right. I really hope you weren't sitting next to an innocent toddler. :/