Work: Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing... - FML

By Anonycock - 06/01/2016 17:15 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 832

You deserved it 3 909

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Same thing different taste

By imaginationdarling - 13/05/2014 23:42 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 494

You deserved it 7 267

Perv'

By Anonymous - 20/09/2021 14:00

Today, someone tried to rob my boss's store and I had a knife held to my neck. That’s not the FML. The FML is that, for some reason, it excited me and I got a boner. The thief told me I was all kinds of messed up and left without stealing anything. My god, I’m some kind of freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 615

You deserved it 239

By ohcrap - 02/06/2011 10:05 - United States

Today, I was shopping for clothes. I thought this guy was a mannequin because he was standing perfectly still. I poked him and he screamed like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 252

You deserved it 36 396

By xsnqw - 19/01/2016 22:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was sitting at my desk in school, and I was really bored. I started playing with the strings on my pants, only to realize 5 minutes later it looked like I was fondling my dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 581

You deserved it 6 956

By Thanks dicks - 07/09/2018 06:00

Today, I got naked in front of a girl for the first time. Too bad it happened when my "friends" pulled down my swimsuit at a party. Everyone saw my penis. I got a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 757

You deserved it 379

Hey good lookin'

By Creepster - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I almost crashed my car because I was checking out an Old Navy mannequin wearing a bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 642

You deserved it 51 505

By AlexK - 18/06/2009 23:39 - United Kingdom

Today, I was browsing my computer to find naked pictures of my ex-girlfriend. I decided it'd be funny to photoshop a penis onto one of the pictures. I'm straight and the new picture turned me on more than before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 172

You deserved it 65 380

By SoMuchForThatIdea - 12/06/2017 00:00

Today, I got to spend the entire day shopping for lingerie with the man of my dreams. He bought everything I'd ever wanted and more! Too bad it was for another woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 937

You deserved it 918

Join the club

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 22:56 - United States - Montpelier

Today, for the first time in 8 months, I got laid and it was amazing. Unfortunately, it's kicked my latent sex drive into hyperdrive. Best part? No idea when I might have sex again, so apparently I just have to live with being ragingly horny for the foreseeable future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 502

You deserved it 401

By FML - 05/07/2010 00:15 - United States

Today, I came to work ready to impress my boss. A couple of weeks ago I asked him for a promotion from stock to sales and I have been proving myself worthy. Turns out he hired a new girl for sales, with great, big, fake breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 064

You deserved it 4 630

Next

Top comments

joeyl2008 29

Wednesday 6 January 2016 23:58

You need hookers. lots of hookers

Tripartita 44

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:01

It doesn't matter what you do OP, they will NEVER love you the way you love them! Trust me… On an unrelated note, I'd advise you to look up the word "agalmatophilia".

Comments

simleader 13

Wednesday 6 January 2016 23:58

That's a HARD thing to deal with.

davincidasecond 24

Thursday 7 January 2016 1:58

No.

cheeeksss 29

Thursday 7 January 2016 2:14

It would've worked a little better if you didn't CAPITALIZE the word.

HonestPie 10

Thursday 7 January 2016 4:43

Apparently your pun is not better than all the other million puns done in this site. Go figure.

xx000o 27

Thursday 7 January 2016 12:24

Well at least you know it works.

joeyl2008 29

Wednesday 6 January 2016 23:58

You need hookers. lots of hookers

sammiaaron 16

Thursday 7 January 2016 3:18

don't we all

skycollapsed 5

Thursday 7 January 2016 4:56

dudes from Qatar.

TripleDallas123 15

Thursday 7 January 2016 6:00

Buy 2 Hookers, get 5 STDs for free!

tin_cup 27

Monday 21 March 2016 15:06

And protection!

Tripartita 44

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:01

It doesn't matter what you do OP, they will NEVER love you the way you love them! Trust me… On an unrelated note, I'd advise you to look up the word "agalmatophilia".

andrmac 25

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:54

At least it will never tell him no. All he has to do it buys her cloths no arguments no on the rag.

mds9986 24

Thursday 7 January 2016 9:08

For the lazy: Agalmatophilia (from the Greek agalma 'statue', and -philia φιλία = love) is a paraphilia involving sexual attraction to a statue, doll, mannequin or other similar figurative object. The attraction may include a desire for actual sexual contact with the object, a fantasy of having sexual (or non-sexual) encounters with an animate or inanimate instance of the preferred object, the act of watching encounters between such objects, or sexual pleasure gained from thoughts of being transformed or transforming another into the preferred object. Agalmatophilia may also encompass Pygmalionism (from the myth of Pygmalion), which denotes love for an object of one's own creation.[1]

tintarroja 31

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:03

Maybe you have a new fetish...

KingKA14 11

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:04

Two things are now up straight

HrothgarXII 21

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:07

I'm sure the mannequin loves you too OP.

Halfass 8

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:07

There's nothing wrong with that, OP. Be worried if the mannequin also got a boner when you undressed it.

hipposteve 21

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:10

Palmela Handerson?

colder13 10

Thursday 7 January 2016 17:46

bad hipposteve. not even creative.

TheNewGuy03 28

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:12

You should truly be worried if these mannequins you are undressing turn out like the Autons from Doctor Who.

dramaelf 37

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:26

Damn! You beat me to it!

sammiaaron 16

Thursday 7 January 2016 3:20

he beat himself to it

Rainbow_Rhinos 23

Thursday 7 January 2016 6:23

#30 I laughed at this

TheNewGuy03 28

Thursday 7 January 2016 17:04

Well played, 30. *virtual high-five*

DarwinFailsAgain 7

Thursday 7 January 2016 0:17

Was he hot? ?

freddygasman 18

Thursday 7 January 2016 9:58

There are female mannequins as well.

mariri9206 32

Thursday 7 January 2016 11:04

based on what 41 said, petition to change calling them "female mannequins" to "womannequins."

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I spent an entire hour talking to someone at a party. I was feeling a real connection, only to find out halfway through the conversation that she wasn’t actually a guest, she was the caterer who just happened to be really nice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 187

Today, I was walking my dog when we passed by a group of teenagers. My social anxiety urged me to appear like a cool, confident adult, so I threw a stick for my dog to fetch, expecting him to dash off as usual. Instead, he sat down and stared at me like I was crazy. One of the kids said, “He’s got more sense than you.” My dog barked in agreement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 437

The Top

Today, my husband got fired from his government-mandated "volunteer" work due to a sexual harassment complaint he filed. He's morbidly obese and still gets more attention in the years we've been together than my whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 793

You deserved it 198

Today, my business got broken into and I lost a lot of valuable equipment. Although I have 24/7 security guards, they left in the middle of the burglary because they were too scared to stop the burglars or even to call the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 678

You deserved it 2 485

Today, I was having cybersex via webcam with my boyfriend. Trying to be as sexy as I could, I started sucking on my finger. Judging by the look on my boyfriend's face, he was getting really into it. As I started getting into it too, I shoved my finger too far down and puked all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 546

You deserved it 130 370

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. His mom called to him from the next room telling him dinner would be ready soon, he needed to move his car, etc. They had a 5 minute conversation...while he was still inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 219

You deserved it 8 138

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend for the first time, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me my orgasm face wasn't something he could put up with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 492

You deserved it 267

Today, after spending a few weeks getting to know my birth father and thinking he seemed decent, he's realised my adoptive parents aren’t rich and no, I can’t lend him a few grand. Now, he’s vanished and written several nasty Facebook posts about not being able to trust family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 335

You deserved it 265