Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
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Top comments
iFizzgig 11
I see you fapping to cartoon **** in the future!
perdix 31
You may be past the point of ever getting laid. . . for free. You'd be surprised what enough cash could do. I'd bet that for a big enough stack of loonies, you can find a blue-haired ***** who will scream and moan like Marge Simpson for the 30 seconds you last inside her. Just show her the D'oh!
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Comments (172)
PhilTSG 1
What is the deal with all the posts about guys getting off on Marge Simpson? I think this is the 3rd one I've seen in the last 2 or 3 months
boredfishing 0
Lower your standards and you'll get laid. That's the issue now and days. Everyone thinks they need to e a super model. Or actually lose their "v" in a bed. Nothing wrong with a public restroom ;)
maddy23a 5
Spoiler alert!
SpeakOutLoud 1
How bout get a life?
daisyadair 5
Dude you really need to stop watching cartoons and go meet some people !
alival 12
Take her take her to the floor Show her show her how you roll Drop it drop it drop it low drdrdrop it low
phatdaddy62 23
Sometimes, jerking it to toon **** can be fun! However, I get laid too!
lovelife_1284 3
You need to find a woman.... -_-
UnknownyMous 5
I honestly agree.
OfficeNinja 5
Whatever you do, don't google "hentai". You will rub yourself raw.