Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm so sleep-deprived, I got a boner from just thinking about falling asleep. FML
Today, it’s been so long since I've had sex, I dream about it every night and I can barely function mentally unless I masturbate frequently, otherwise I get random boners throughout the day that won’t go away, no matter how much I try to think about something else. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, I'm so sexually deprived, I got a boner from undressing a mannequin at work. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I randomly got a boner while modeling a character's butt in animation class. FML
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
Today, my boyfriend got a raging boner while looking around at a gun store. He hasn't had any sexual interest in me in months. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty, saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body. FML
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Top comments
iFizzgig 11
I see you fapping to cartoon **** in the future!
perdix 31
You may be past the point of ever getting laid. . . for free. You'd be surprised what enough cash could do. I'd bet that for a big enough stack of loonies, you can find a blue-haired ***** who will scream and moan like Marge Simpson for the 30 seconds you last inside her. Just show her the D'oh!
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Comments (172)
FAYUL12345100 3
Hey, you said it, not us...
hateevryone 15
you definitely need to get laid.
goodgirlxgonebad 3
That's kinda ****** up. Just makes me think you'd like kids or something
MisfitsPath 0
Sadly your not the only one
lisaaarrrggghhh 0
At least you're not as hard as Michael Jackson was when he watched sesame street :-)
kingsley_fml 8
It's better than getting aroused when seeing Ziggy without any pants...
xXGigglesXx 0
Your not past the point your beyond it dude ur up up an away for sex ur just lokin at the wrong stuff
lifefuckedup 0
Sick really dude! Order a prostitute
sativaman420 5
boner-licious!!!
hotforkegger 4
I think you're so perverted even cartoons turn u on