By Anonymous - 15/02/2011 19:28 - United States

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 157
You deserved it 14 264

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i would say you life sucks, but no sucking seems to be going on, so am not sure what to press. =(



frankq555 3


hahayousucks 3

lol jaws dies... so slap it around a few times, it'll die

That's amazing.

meowmeowwkitty 0

def not a FML if he's hot, get someee

meowmeowwkitty 0

or if you love him ofcourse ;)

actingbro 3

I like 143's point of view, it's kinda hot

neftajr 0

open wide!

wait shouldn't she be the shark?

DearlyBeloved20 3

Yeah the shark will swallow you whole

throw a harpoon at it before it eats u!!!!

xoxoMEGANxoxo 13


TayonaC 10

ok now that wasn't funny

You better eat the shark before it eats you.

i would say you life sucks, but no sucking seems to be going on, so am not sure what to press. =(

LMAO Gregor nice one.

Why was she out of the kitchen? Did someone put a couch in there?

#127.. you're a tossa.

don't be a sexist douche 127

At least he didn't pull a fly out of his penis.

ba dum cha! should have grabbed his balls and told him to keep it zipped up until you say otherwise

yesiyes 0

LOOOOL,hes a keeper! :D

wow get a Life 151..

NickK49 0

Where did that come from 169?

yesiyes 0

ok?151 soundss kindaaa creepy.. :O dammit i dont get the fisherman humor-___-

lokita5 0

I know rite!! :)

Foltzie 0

I play that game with my gf all the time. She loves it

she is a wife type. marry her!

daaron 3

I agree if u don't I will

wow really??

Sounds like a bamf boyfriend!

I have to agree. Unless you were having the shittiest day ever, this is funny and sweet, in a sick way. If your senses of humour are so incompatible that you feel this is an FML, you're probably not going to last long as a couple.

Well said!^

is that a pig?

I wish I could give this post more thumbs up...

You should have given him some hammerhead.

and some great white as reward

jellybean91 12


haha thats funny

batummshakalaka 1


CaptSkippy 9

she should have eaten the shark...

...and she will have some great white as a reward, if she doesn't bite! |the kid|

Heh..those comments are /oozing/ with win...

Rei_Ayanami 18

Normally I would find that rather ignorant, but it's actually quite funny.

lemoncows 2

you're so ignorant you can't even use the term ignorant correctly.

Hahahaha ultra win ^^^^

Rei_Ayanami 18

Allow me to rephrase my comment, "Normally I call somebody who did that ignorant" of course meaning ignorant to what people will and will not tolerate.

how does that make him ignorant?

jrsgreenfire257 0


i would like to high five your boyfriend

obviouslyimdrunk 0

but his hand was on his.....mmkay

I would imagine there is a good chance he has two hands... or could wash them after the hilarity has ensued. Personally I'm sure everyone touches their privates at some point during the day but what do I know. I wanna high five this guy too!

hey!!! maybe this guy wants to high five that guys mmkay hand!!! or his mmkay itself!!! who knows!!! XP

Would you say your boyfriend was a Great White or a guppy?

what if he's black? I know, I'm terrible but I'm sorry, I couldn't help my self.

TaylorTotsYumm 10

And if he's Asian.. Lemon shark.

lol what about a bamboo shark for Asian?

iloveboyswittats 10

Captain obvious

Kelita 0

WELL op did say FML at the end soooo I'm guessin he's a guppy.....

It's not the size of the shark... It's the motion if the ocean.

dakins 0