WTF dude?

By lunarstrain - 08/11/2011 06:11 - United Kingdom

Spicy
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to have sex with a piece of fruit. FML
I agree, your life sucks 49 111
You deserved it 8 536

Same thing different taste

Top comments

alexm501 0
KennKenn 0

Comments

phoenixslayer69 4
phoenixslayer69 4

Ford gt 500 off topic a little don't ya think? Try the pm service next time.

Well don't just stand there! Grab a banana and join the fun!

superficialheart 11

Just got wet over 19's car. Not going to **** some fruit though. That ***** messed.

XenaWP 6

As long as it's not a pineapple it's ok..

Tara_74656 7
drawmesunshine 17

Not post-coital ones. They're nasty.

Overpowered, as in "omfg, That guy just killed me. That shit is totally OP *rage rage*"

The_Troller 14
SpruceDread4578 13

40- you got giant breasts. Just had to say it.

drawmesunshine 17

101, and you, sir, are a giant prick. Just had to say it.

boarder540 12
italianlove17 0

That would be a bad time to find out he's allergic

Oh hey honey... I read on the Internet you could make grapes more ripe by inserting them in my urethra. Want one? They taste great!

ImFrackinBored 13

So I take it you won't have sex with him yourself?

monkeebalz 0

I bet she was apple-d (apalled) by what she saw He was g-raping that poor fruit

boringday123 7

Well fruit are actually ripened ovaries, so....

KennKenn 0
Jewdazking23 5

#49 Hes 15. Whats the problem?

if you didn't notice, it doesn't say whether op is a girl o guy, so he could be gay, and the fruit could be a cucumber.

Then you'd have yet another sexual definition of "cream pie." Only it's an actual pie. |the kid|

Cat_Daniels 6

Exactly like the part in American pie when the dude has sex with an apple pie :P lol maybe he saw the movie and got motivated??

All I saw was sherminator ******* a grape fruit when I read this fml.

alexm501 0

Or a lemon, the acidity of the juice on his junk

17, what three meant was that OP's bf would have been using the banana as a *****, say, if he were using one. Although, if you slice the skin of a banana down the middle, then empty out the inside of the banana, you could use it like that. Just flop your dick in and off you go.

35 - Personal experience...? Or just a random "fact" you found on Google?

Andr913 13

64-Don't, it can break inside you.

pattycmom 12

If you have ever seen Weeds on HBO you would know how to use a banana lol!

104, I think I've seen it in a movie. Not sure which one though. All I know is I've heard it somewhere.

'Just flop your dick in and off you go' - best line ever #35

He probably listens to painkilleralready :D

At least it wasn't a pie. Like in American pie. Now comes the bogus, American Fruit !

UrLyfSuxx 0

He'd rather have a fruit then you?

Nope, he's just trying to get in to his 5 a day.

*than (unless you mean like he's ******* fruit then his gf)

I'm actually thinking OP should put out more.

Tara_74656 7

time for u to make a substitution

Well did you go grab a banana and have a threesome?

actually it would be a foursome two people plus two pieces of fruit makes 4 but it was a dumb comment

i just realized 67 was talking to the person who commented not the person who said foursome I thumb down my own comment and weep

Actually that'd make it four since the banana and her are joining in. :p

drawmesunshine 17

It's ok, 256, go back to sleep.

leadman1989 15
btnhdude 0

Ok i'm gonna let you in on something. You could have just commented on 6's thread.

Tara_74656 7
RedPillSucks 31

Not that damn curious!!! Hopefully, he isn't curious as to how it feels to have sex in traffic, on the road.

Martinez0285 28

Come on, OP, be more specific about the piece of fruit. Was it an apple? Grapefruit? Lemons? A coconut? You can't hold important information like that behind.

Durian, maybe? To remind him of his carefree teenage days when he masturbated into old socks.

LiveLaughFML 10

#50: oh my gosh, before you get wicked responses..OP really means original poster, which was the person who submitted the FML :)

Don't lie #60 we all know OP means old pooper

Blackmail111 9

Agreed. We need some more information. Like was he successful?!

Epikouros 31

It must have been a jackfruit.

Ostentatious Pony. Alternatly, Obvious Prat.

It was a peach; soft and fuzzy on the outside wet and squishy on the inside.

You are all wrong, it was a Papaya! ;)

millions of peaches , peaches for me ...

flyestgirleva13 0
bizarre_ftw 21

It wasn't until I reached the end of the comments before I got the octopus penis joke