Intimacy: Wrong sort of poking - FML

Wrong sort of poking

By Anonymous - 22/09/2013 05:40 - United States - Brandon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend got out of the shower and tried to hit my forehead with his penis. He slipped and slapped me in the eye with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 194

You deserved it 9 739

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Same thing different taste

The heat of the moment

By righthook - 08/04/2015 19:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 8 654

By besviken - 18/11/2012 22:53 - Sweden - Uppsala

Spicy

Today, I had the best sex of our relationship with my boyfriend. Afterwards, he took off his condom, looked me sweetly in the eyes for a few moments, then decided to slap me in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 459

You deserved it 6 328

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Spicy

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 040

You deserved it 6 802

Sick moves, dude

By Anonymous - 02/09/2009 09:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a shower together for the first time. He was trying impress me and did some sort of dance move, he slipped, and when he fell he kicked my leg out causing me to fall and hit my face on the faucet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 405

You deserved it 4 241

By omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 424

You deserved it 49 349

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 722

You deserved it 6 022

Major romcom vibes

By staciedee - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be cute to try and pick me up while kissing, instead he tripped and slammed the back of my head on the corner of the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 541

You deserved it 5 019

One nation, under rod

By LaLa - 20/09/2019 22:00

Spicy

Today, I was fooling around with my partner after his shower. He moved my hands up to push me against the wall. Instead of hitting the wall, my hands hit the shower rod. It fell on my face and I got a bloody nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 511

You deserved it 214

By keepsmiling - 02/09/2009 11:19 - France

Spicy

Today, I thought it would be sexy to surprise my boyfriend by hiding in the closet naked and pouncing on him as he came to get his pants. I never got to the pouncing. Apparently my boyfriend has heightened reflexes so instead I got slapped hard across the face. My ear is still ringing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 408

You deserved it 47 605

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 773

You deserved it 13 694

Next

Top comments

jaysvn 2

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:18

that's a dick move.

naxeeb 33

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:16

Maybe his one-eyed-snake was trying to find a partner? :P In any case, you should put ice on that OP!

Comments

naxeeb 33

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:16

Maybe his one-eyed-snake was trying to find a partner? :P In any case, you should put ice on that OP!

AmexBlack 24

Sunday 22 September 2013 14:38

Eye think you should probably get your eye seen to ;)

LeFrogDog 27

Sunday 22 September 2013 16:22

a eye for a eye?

qwertsarecool122 23

Sunday 19 April 2015 3:50

It's just eye to eye contact.

jaysvn 2

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:18

that's a dick move.

9echo 17

Sunday 22 September 2013 15:13

Quite a talented move, too. I mean, unless she was kneeling down or something, he would've had to jump high enough to stick her. I'm seeing a great illustrated FML here.

PuggieKid 22

Sunday 22 September 2013 16:11

She just got 'dick slapped'

GTAmax99 12

Sunday 22 September 2013 16:35

What a ********.

cgart96 15

Sunday 22 September 2013 16:59

Maybe he's black and it can just reach up there.

Ch_rae5 19

Monday 23 September 2013 1:53

#36 i am laughing so hard at your comment

dfair1987 16

Monday 23 September 2013 2:02

oh really I would have never guessed

HighasaCloud 46

Monday 23 September 2013 6:24

Such a bellend

Dramori 29

Monday 23 September 2013 14:12

Look up swaffelen...

Internetdude 22

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:19

people do the weirdest things these days. lol

jerryj 27

Sunday 22 September 2013 16:06

I bet men have been slapping their partners with their johnsons since the dawn of mankind. Just now we got social media to get the word out there a little more quickly and efficiently.

LaLince 40

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:20

eye-******

zandalee 19

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:30

She's gone all ****-eyed...

Nunaetsuko 13

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:21

I need the follow-up of this FML XD did you just laugh it off after?

terryaly 13

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:21

tell the later story too

A07 48

Sunday 22 September 2013 17:18

seriously bro? she got her eye poked by a penis and you wanna know what happened later? :p

terryaly 13

Sunday 22 September 2013 20:30

i got minus 3,you got minus 5 hahahahah

jondivey 9

Monday 23 September 2013 0:57

Therefore your argument must be valid because you won the popularity contest. Good reasoning.

Stylux_fml 16

Monday 23 September 2013 2:25

#81 Now you've got minus 13 and he has plus 1...

Mr25_fml 14

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:21

A for effort though.

Espolax 8

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:23

D for success

EpicSquishii 21

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:30

Must have been an ego boost for him. I'll bet most guys want to be able to claim they can injure someone with their penis. And here you were tearing up from the sheer force of it! :)

MagicStallion 9

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:32

I'm sure eye couldn't give less of a ****

Blink_me26 21

Sunday 22 September 2013 15:30

Pun was acceptable but a bit negative for my taste.

Wizzlbang 10

Sunday 22 September 2013 13:34

Hope you don't get pink eye, op

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I agree, your life sucks 41 019

You deserved it 2 757