Miscellaneous: Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only...

By Goatbeard - 15/02/2011 17:13 - United States

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 152

You deserved it 3 999

Summer vacations: Sun and blunders
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Same thing different taste

Nature is healing

By kat, ACT - 20/12/2009 14:37 - United States

Today, while driving, we pulled up at a set of traffic lights next to a huge truck with live animals inside. Curious as to exactly what animal, I wound down my window to see if I could hear them, just in time for the truck to take off and cow shit to fly in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 480

You deserved it 11 668

By whitedevil - 09/10/2009 07:09 - United States

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 171

You deserved it 49 919

What he is thinking?

By fishyrael - 12/11/2019 01:00

Today, I was on a long road trip and I really had to pee. With no rest stop for miles and night having fallen, I decided to pull over on the side of the highway and pee in a fast food cup. A cop knocked on the window to see if everything was okay, while I was mid-squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 838

You deserved it 298

By Tired Hungry Geek - 27/10/2015 04:40 - United States

Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 678

You deserved it 10 321

By caught out - 26/04/2014 23:29 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 713

You deserved it 7 415

Spooky season has begun

By Anonymous - 04/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at work at a kiosk in the mall when I smelled something foul. I thought it was the weird dude who'd just walked by so I just carried on with my work. Minutes later, I looked to my right and there, lying on the floor a few feet from me, was a huge turd wrapped in toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 616

You deserved it 157

The smell of freedom

By ThatNewCarSmell - 01/10/2014 16:53 - United States - Carlsbad

Today, I held my bag of burger and fries out the window while driving, to preserve that new car smell. Not only did I hit a pothole and lose my lunch, I got pulled over by a cop who suspected I was either littering or tossing drugs when I saw him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 879

You deserved it 45 685

Confused

By StUbbY - 09/07/2009 14:01 - Canada

Today, I was waiting in line for breakfast at the McDonald's drive-thru. After getting so fed up that the line hadn't budged for 10 mins, I pulled out of the line, only to realize I was waiting behind 2 parked cars that were just to the left of the drive-thru lane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 815

You deserved it 59 273

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 095

You deserved it 3 655

Smells like…

By Anonymous - 03/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I was driving past men working on the side of the road. There was a lot of water pouring down the road and as I slowed down to drive through it, a car sped past me, splashing my entire car. It was only then I realized it was a septic tank leak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 719

You deserved it 2 608

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:16

I hope your fast food didn't include a brownie. With nuts.

DogmaT_fml 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:39

eat it while staring. I SAID, EAT IT WHILE STARING.

Comments

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:16

I hope your fast food didn't include a brownie. With nuts.

romano07 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:22

or oatmeal o_O

CryMoreFMLs 14

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:11

Did the wordin of this FMl make anybody else laugh? I couldn't help but lmao.

deafeningsilence 8

Wednesday 16 February 2011 0:19

15- It sounded kind of awkward, IMO.

mariluvs 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 1:42

im confused"-

CryMoreFMLs 14

Wednesday 16 February 2011 2:30

The person stared at a turd till the light turned green.

mariluvs 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 3:55

laxgirl17 5

Wednesday 16 February 2011 4:51

This is actually all part of an American weight loss program. It's a proven fact that you are less likely to eat fast food if you stare at a turd.

m2j 1

Wednesday 16 February 2011 16:01

I thought the OP was calling someone a turd and didn't realize it was an actual turd. haha I was so confused.

doctor_itsmylife 3

Friday 18 February 2011 22:08

"handy window about a foot round. " epic word choose fail

xxBFMVAAMIWxx 18

Tuesday 19 November 2013 11:27

Well this sounds like he has had a shitty time

EatnBeef 7

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:25

it wanted some food.

romano07 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:25

I bet you blinked.

reverb_neon 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:31

new marketing campaign for Mc Donalds. instead of the hamburglar it's the turd burglar.

lemoncows 2

Wednesday 16 February 2011 0:05

their stuff tastes like crap anyway ...

9010649 3

Wednesday 16 February 2011 0:44

haaaa

YtotsDI 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 3:16

it also looks like sumone sat on it loathe box is always smished lol

retrospect 5

Wednesday 16 February 2011 10:22

Mc shitz

allyandcolour03 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:34

Shit that sucks. I bet u cud smell it too huh? Good luck eating now

5t3ff1k4h 44

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:38

could*. I'm not bothering to correct anything else. FYI - "cud" is what cows chew.

Asario 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 6:08

and "cum" is what you chew ^^

Susieee_Q 9

Wednesday 16 February 2011 7:31

^^ She had it "coming."

shylodragon 0

Wednesday 16 February 2011 16:56

wow, totally taken from Cop Out!

DogmaT_fml 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:39

eat it while staring. I SAID, EAT IT WHILE STARING.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Tuesday 15 February 2011 22:58

Just imagine how bad the driver of the septic tank has it. They're the one that has to haul around all that poop!

perdix 29

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:03

You should have jumped out of your car and beaten the shit out of it!

Shmeagle 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:24

Who won?

NattyBear 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:31

lol

allmidnighteyes 10

Tuesday 15 February 2011 23:27

Fast food doesn't necessarily mean it's McDonald's. In California, it could very well be In N Out. But then again, In N Out isn't exactly fast food...