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Alipod's favorite FMLs

By TuralSucks - 11/03/2009 01:10 - United States

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

agreeclassic 271 577

vote type 1 17 982

By UnicornWaffles - 16/03/2016 17:23 - Taiwan - Taipei

Today, I had sex with a guy I really had a connection with. It went perfect until I complimented how his moans during sex turn me on a lot, and he responded with, "That's what my mom told me." I laughed so hard we couldn't go on. FML

agreeclassic 22 044

vote type 1 3 282

UnicornWaffles app_comment_confession_title

UnicornWaffles 23

Friday 18 March 2016 2:13

Hey fellas, quick clarification. When he said what he said I just blurted out laughing, because to me it obviously was a joke. Further confirmation would have either ruin the joke or ruin sex with him forever. He may have very well been a mother-****** but I wouldn't need to know, as we're not dating each other. That being said, I'm positive it's humor, and any humor is a good laugh to me if you appreciate the other person's intension to make you happy. I did forbid him to say that again in bed though; it'll just be creepy a second time. Thanks for you comments :) we had a good laugh.

By singlemam - 15/03/2016 01:51 - United States - Akron

Today, while at the park, my 3 year-old ran up to a lady, grabbed her chest and loudly asked, "Are these your breasts? Are they private on you too?" FML

agreeclassic 19 203

vote type 1 2 087

By ohgodwhy - 06/04/2013 14:15 - Canada - Elliot Lake

Today, I was watching a movie with my parents when a sex scene came on. As if that wasn't awkward enough, they started making out on the couch behind me. FML

agreeclassic 63 418

vote type 1 5 717

By Nico - 16/02/2013 01:37 - France - Asnières

Today, the company I was fired from three years ago merged with the company I work at now. The new owners' first order of business was to fire me again. FML

agreeclassic 48 223

vote type 1 3 197