Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML
Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML
Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend over text. We wore each others' hats, so I gave his back and asked for mine. He “accidentally” burned it. FML
Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML
Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML
Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML
Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML
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Top comments
Dodie__fml 2
You just got burned
Skulll 13
Don't play with lighters!
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Comments (156)
nitewlf12 10
Damn! Your boyfriend is a beast!
imsoboss91 5
Well shave your 'stache and you wont have that problem!
BabeFYL 0
Gotta get it off some way!
nitewlf12 10
That's what she said.
texas_redneck88 10
Lol @97
NomOnShroomz 14
Mustaches are sexy but only if you're Mexican. If not, wax it off bitch!
nitewlf12 10
I'm pretty sure mustaches aren't sexy on anyone with a ******. Mexican or not, it's just not appealing.
boredblonde 17
well...do you have one?
justanotherhuman 21
First, my question *exactly*. Second, /facepalm at the thumbs-downs. Is anyone even paying attention to the difference between conveyed and interpreted opinion, versus fact anymore? OP's bf may have been joking, or dead-honest. OP's reaction may have been based purely on her insecurity- perhaps it was a moment of brutal, spiteful clarity whereupon she was forced to acknowledge his comment as being predicated on factual data. If OP *does* have significant upper-lip hair, the post automatically takes on a different dynamic. Question remains.
Mitch_Connor 11
Don't suppose you work at the circus...
perdix 31
Tell him if he does, you'll cut off his dick. If he can retaliate to that, you just have too damn much testosterone!
lindseyluvszac 4
Your boyfriend is not someone you should joke with :O Op tell him to ease up
nitewlf12 10
Why wouldn't you joke with your bf/gf? They're the person you actually should joke with and have fun with. Therefore, your comment is wrong.
Ottokiller 3
why were u playing with a lighter in the first place?
ShroomsOnAcid 17
It's fun, have you tried it? I once set my clothes on fire by accident, but it was worth it.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Fire = Fun!
KiddNYC1O 22
Add alcohol to that equation.
Darklord53 0
I am a pyromaniac, playing with fire is one if the funnest things ever
Wheredidgrungego 12
Well it's faster than shaving!