Love: Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend...

By Anonymous - 19/09/2011 20:27 - United States

Today, while playing with a lighter, I jokingly told my boyfriend I would burn his mustache off. He responded by telling me he would burn off mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 643

You deserved it 36 721

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Same thing different taste

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 604

You deserved it 15 127

By bojangles - 28/02/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend that I don't like his facial hair and that he should shave it off. He replied, "You first." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 270

You deserved it 47 966

By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 537

You deserved it 14 903

By Anonymous - 03/07/2015 19:29 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 673

You deserved it 3 469

Sick burn

By Anonymous - 16/05/2010 08:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend came home while I was making a snack in the kitchen. We started making out and he lifted me up and sat my ass on the hot stove. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 997

You deserved it 8 071

By anxious spaghetti - 03/12/2017 15:00

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend over text. We wore each others' hats, so I gave his back and asked for mine. He “accidentally” burned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 730

You deserved it 458

By mustache girl - 27/05/2013 23:10 - Canada - Magog

Today, I waxed my upper lip hair. My boyfriend later told me that he missed my mustache rubbing onto his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 102

You deserved it 6 052

By chinousmc - 06/12/2012 11:30 - United States - Clearwater

Today, I got punched in the face after a stranger asked for a light, didn't realize it was a butane lighter and burnt the tip of his nose lighting his cigarette. Now my nose looks worse than his. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 859

You deserved it 3 415

By meh beard - 18/01/2016 23:42 - Canada - Bowmanville

Today, my roommate thought it was a good idea to set my beard on fire to wake me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 521

You deserved it 1 595

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 02:33 - United States

Today, we were celebrating my birthday and my boyfriend thought it would be funny to shove my face in the cake. While the candles were still lit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 960

You deserved it 3 686

Dodie__fml 2

Tuesday 20 September 2011 1:05

You just got burned

Skulll 13

Tuesday 20 September 2011 1:05

Don't play with lighters!

Comments

vanessa9208 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 4:42

two words. WAXING. ;) lol

ACM1991 9

Tuesday 20 September 2011 4:49

Shave your mustache girl jeeZee

tatababe 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:20

He it a keeper :).

muhilrashid 4

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:37

You have a mustache ?

havocmike 3

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:41

So don't have a mustache.

jivveturkey 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 5:57

thats a burn about a burn! thats a second degree burn!

Leigh_Badd 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 6:32

Fight fire with fire!!

LockAndKey13 1

Tuesday 20 September 2011 6:38

I mustache you a question but I'll shave it for later :)

bannedforlife 0

Tuesday 20 September 2011 7:06

FFS, get rid of that shit. WTF.

SamanthaSaurus 13

Tuesday 20 September 2011 11:00

It would save you a lot of beautician money.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, while trying to spice up our marriage, we decided to get a hotel room and roleplay as strangers who meet in a bar and have a one night stand. By the time I got there, he was engrossed in the football and on the beer. He didn't notice me arrive and when he did, he was too drunk to get the roleplay right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 275

Today, my crush let me know that he has a prom date. Obviously I'm supportive because I just want him to be happy, even if it's not me. I casually let him know that I'm going with someone else too, and now he's really mad about it. If he'd asked me before, I would've said yes. Like… Hello? How dare I get a prom date! FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 98

The Top

Today, in a deep depression, on my worst night, I reached out to a lifeline. Waited an hour for the counselor to arrive, listen for a few minutes, then tell me I should, "Get my mind off of it by planning my prom, sewing a dress or painting my nails." The application clearly shows I'm an adult man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 395

You deserved it 199

Today, I went out for drinks for the first since I stopped breastfeeding. I underestimated how low my tolerance had become and how strong the drinks were. My husband was stopped by two bouncers while trying to carry me to the car. They thought he'd drugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 230

Today, I helped myself to a small glass of cocktail from the fridge, not realising it was alcoholic. I told my mom what happened. She made me drink salty water until I vomited so I wouldn't get "alcohol poisoning". I'm 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 167

You deserved it 8 167

Today, I sat down on a chair after my very large boss sat on it all day. When I got up, my pants were damp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 050

You deserved it 2 750

Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 857

You deserved it 3 315

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 637

You deserved it 10 577

Same thing different taste

Close but no cigar

Sick burn

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