By Shit - 27/04/2014 17:25 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time, her dad made a big show of cleaning his rifle, before loading it, taking aim, and blowing the hell out of a hornet's nest at the back of the yard. I fear for my life. FML
I agree, your life sucks 48 599
You deserved it 6 736

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You should fear for your life only if you use your stinger on his daughter. Or if you wear a yellow jacket. That wouldn't be wise.

The_Big_Boss 20

That's when you tell him what guns you have and offer to go shooting with him sometime


You should fear for your life only if you use your stinger on his daughter. Or if you wear a yellow jacket. That wouldn't be wise.

gjikvtj 18

Also, definitely don't pollenate her

hahaha best response ever!!

One false move and your nuts are next.

Oooh child,.now honeycomb on, you know he's just joshing.

incoherentrmblr 21

Yeah, don't pollinate her inside. If you pollinate her outside, you must be R. Kelly...

It's refreshing to see some new puns on Fml. :)

Those poor homeless hornets. Now they're going to have to bee by the roadside asking for change until they can repair their hive.

#67 You sir are trying too hard

at least he keeps his family safe from hornets

Overprotective parents create sneaky kids.

Right. Cause it's totally common for dads to blow holes in guys dating their princess. If that were true, every single guy would have a least one hole through his chest.

You should have asked for the gun then calmly shot the stinger off one of the yellow jackets, handed it back to him and said "needs work".

Not a good time to be a pussy

Since when were we talking about cats?

Yeah!! No one mentioned cats. Dammit Kevin!

What an awesome dad!!

Honestly I think dads that do stuff like this are dumbasses

Why? They are warning beforehand so they know what to expect if they ever hurt their daughter.

MariahCarolyn 2

I agree with #119. It's super immature and just makes the daughter upset. Plus, it's dangerous, and the father obviously doesn't care about his daughter, only his own insecurities about his daughter growing up.

Immature? Dumbass? What this dad did is exactly what I plan to do. I know full well my daughter will at some point start being her own woman and having sex, and this isn't about that. The message is to convey that if you abuse her I will hurt you. Badly.

How do y'all even know if it has anything to do with the dad warning OP?? He may be a proud gun-owner... Maybe OP could learn how to shoot this thing that encompasses our 2nd Amendment???? OP - YDI for freaking out over a gun! Any man or woman who threatens assault with any weapon is a coward. Because you (OP) fear assault, you are proving to us (through the Law of Reflection) that you feel the need to assault anyone who harms you.

4, I call daddy's idea a success!

You know, 119 and 156 have their points. Threatening someone with bodily harm is assault. Harming someone is battery. Then if you shoot them, it's voluntary manslaughter. A felony, enjoy prison. Making a show of shooting a hornet's nest is incredibly immature. There are so many better ways to handle the situation. Indirectly threatening the guy will do no good. Even of those that do, only a small percentile follow up with it. It's likely you can find their criminal records with relative ease. If you honestly plan to "hurt [him]. Badly," you're not a good example. You would be teaching your daughter that violence is the solution, not to mention that being the final thing you teach her before being incarcerated. Again, enjoy prison. I agree though, OP, you deserve it for fearing that. He will not do a damn thing if he values his place in his family or society. Might I emphasize how hard it is to be a dad while serving time for a felony. Unless he's Michael De Santa. Then run. Run fast and far.

The_Big_Boss 20

That's when you tell him what guns you have and offer to go shooting with him sometime

Nothing like bonding with someone at the range. :D

Agreed, OP you could turn this around and make it something you guys have in common! a hobby of sorts. My FIL is a complete @sshole but he is quiet when you talk to him about homebrew beer and wants to help. Mellows him a bit. Maybe something in common can mellow yours abit and make him more tolerable

Of course if OP hasn't got any guns, he's screwed.

my thoughts exactly. but he could just show an interest in general and go shooting with him

ChristianH39 30

111 actually my first time shooting was with my girlfriends dad and brother. OPs dad does seem just a tiny bit hostile though

Take the hint. Take care of his girl.

Or else he'll take care of you.

And if he doesn't, is he going to shoot him? He gets the jail. Some other guy comes along, who is going to shoot him?

MooseKnuckle5150 13

Parenting. He's doing it right.

Unless he acts on his threat. It should be moderately hard to be a good parent in prison.

It's only a problem if you treat her like shit

No - It's a problem if he or his daughter *think* she's been treated badly. Hopefully that belief will match reality but there's no guarantee.

Just don't hit her or cheat on her and you should be fine.


Bees and hornets are different species. If you don't know that I'm pretty sure you'll be in for a nasty surprise if you go looking for honey in the wild.

I was making a movie reference.

*dramatically jumps infront of bee hive* NOOOOOOOO

Oh no! Not the bees! Now who will sting me and walk all over my sandwiches?

Explain to him that can be considered threatening actions and implied intentions of assault. Put him in his place.

clambo_3553 3

Yes, being a pussy always works. Try that.

Wiki your American is showing

Octwo 16

Cheeks your ignorance is showing.

Octwo I was making a reference towards the obsession towards class action lawsuits we keep hearing about in the US to resolve otherwise simple conflicts (If it doesn't end in gunfights).

AssCheeks, you're still getting down voted.

Like I give a ****? Go ahead and zergfest, it still doesn't change the fact that only in 'Murica lawsuits go rampant as such. Come at me, hordes of downvotes, for I have 'sinned'!

Also, are assault rifles a legal domestic firearm in the US? What animal do you need that much firepower for?

'Cause I can't think of any animals other than a daughters boyfriend.. or fascists.. My questions are honest though, and I'm pretty sure shooting a hornets nest violates gun safety standards. So how about responses, instead of thumbing down comments like sheep?

only fully automatic weapons are illegal, and it's illegal to shoot any weapon inside city limits. also some magazine sizes as far as I believe 12+ for pistols are illegal.

Thanks dude! I know that in some cases you can buy parts for restricted weapons, which is silly, what's someone going to do with restricted parts other than put them together? Hashtag guncontrol

ChristianH39 30

Yes, try to put your girlfriends dad "in his place." That's just sure to work out well

Cheeks, it wouldn't be a class action lawsuit anyways, it's only one individual. Trust me, I sat in on a lecture at a community college once.

honz99999 11

@ironichalibut you say what animal do you need that much firepower for? I ask anyone who owns a sports car, what road do you *need* that much horsepower for? need has nothing to do with it. people buy nice rifles for among the same reasons people buy nice cars. they're cool, they're big, they're loud, and this is America.

Defer to the dad. Always defer to the dad. Repeat.

Octwo 16

Cheeks, I don't think you understand what a class action lawsuit is. It has nothing to do with this post. I don't like people who jump straight to trying to sue people as a resolution, it's pathetic, but generalizing all Americans is equally pathetic. Leave your ignorance at the door, please.

I don't see why my comment was moderated away.. My second one doesn't make as much sense without it, I can't think of anyway it violated the comment policy. If anything, the second one where I called down voters "sheep" was more offensive and could've been moderated away, rather than the one where I asked an honest question, about the content of the FM. Was it lost somehow, or moderated? Did I accidentally use. "Lol" or "1337"? Could I get an explanation possibly, so it doesn't happen again?