By failureatlife - 27/04/2014 19:16 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML
I agree, your life sucks 40 318
You deserved it 6 168

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Top comments

Damn salads these days trying to kill people

Icebergs can be very dangerous.

Comments

well thats.... unfortunate

JMichael 25

This is why I do not eat salad.

pwnman 33

I am afraid to death on salads.

#1 Well you don't say? I wonder why he put this on FML

incoherentrmblr 21

Was it at least a tasty salad? Do you need a tasty beverage to wash it down?...

Your being challenged OP. Life wanted to test you. You passed the test. Put a smile on your face, and roll on. Life will tear you again, so you smile and beat the challenge again. These small victories matter. They're a step before your bigger ones, and the happiness you WILL have. :)

What's with all the happiness and light shit? Maybe OP is a monumental fuck-up whose only purpose is to serve as a future warning to younger generations of what not to be. Stop feeling sorry for yourself dude, it's a rough world out there with no room for more pansies.

The same lettuce you ordered on Amazon?

Guys at least make your comment relevant to what you're replying to, we are all guilty of wanting our comment at the top, but cut the blatancy.

Damn salads these days trying to kill people

gjikvtj 18

And the doctors say that salads are healthy...

They only act out in self defense!

I laughed way too hard at this

Maybe OP wrote this beyond the grave :O

That's why nobody eats salads!

I eat salad all the time! Not a lot of lettuce in it, but lots of tomato and cheese! And big croutons! Actually one big crouton...with tomato on it...okay fine its pizza!

I choked on spinach....before you judge it was a fairly long piece of spinach and it was covered in sauce :|

Shouldn't have bought lettuce from Amazon.

was it on the entire head of lettuce?

XTheDesertSongX 17

"on a piece of lettuce." "a piece of lettuce." "piece."

One piece........where'd my straw hat go?

Icebergs can be very dangerous.

Romaine calm, OP. You'll get through this.

Lettuce discuss your problems OP. Edit: Crap sorry after looking down further I noticed someone less made the same pun :/

Grr typos everywhere... last time I post at night

Matt_Hazard 16

@ #5 Ah ha ha, I see what you did there.

Pfft and it isn't even Monday..

True, but it is "pre-Monday".

Pre-monday.. still gets you pregnant with the hate of monday.

this is why i dont eat vegetables

This is why I don't eat salad..

Because it makes you choke? So your diet consists of...baby food?

Because there is only salad and baby food. My favorite baby food is a cheese burger.

ChristianH39 30

26 I don't think you can expect sound logic from someone whose username is quackadoodledoo lol

Also... You can choke on baby food if you try hard enough.

Lettuce know how you are doing !

I agree, you can't just leave us with the tip of the iceberg!

xblaine 17

Salad is dangerous