Thousand-yard stare - FML

Thousand-yard stare

By timiscuous - 20/04/2020 20:00 - New Zealand

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. Her dad killed and skinned a goat in front of me, while staring at me the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 817

You deserved it 282

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Same thing different taste

By sunboy52 - 05/05/2009 07:43 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 889

You deserved it 91 019

Good one

By bf. - 19/12/2013 02:59 - Canada - London

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Dinner was going well until her dad secretly fed the asparagus to the dog under the table, and then "discovered" what a childish thing I had done. My girlfriend believed him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 228

You deserved it 3 001

Funny story…

By Anonymous - 25/05/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. I wanted to break the ice, so I brought up a funny story… about my ex-girlfriend, without thinking. The room fell silent, and my girlfriend’s mom just stared at me. My girlfriend left the room in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 873

Stacy's Mom

By Anonymous - 26/08/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. It turns out the one day, long before I met my girlfriend, I had a one-night stand with her mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 248

Very very frightening

By graham - 11/01/2020 14:00

Today, my first time meeting my girlfriend's dad ended with him chasing me from his house and trying to hit me with a baseball bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 849

You deserved it 356

By Anonymous - 27/04/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, my girlfriend met my parents for the first time. The first thing my mom said to my girlfriend was, "Honey, are you ok? You look like you got hives." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 369

You deserved it 3 511

Awkward much?

By iskalion - 10/10/2015 05:39 - Canada - Grande Prairie

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents over lunch. Unfortunately, I showed my dad her Facebook profile beforehand and he wouldn't stop making cracks about her duckfacing. It started with, "Don't let her eat the bread, it'll puff up in her stomach and kill her", and ended in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 452

You deserved it 5 452

By thisisavirus.exe - 31/12/2013 20:57 - United States - Sherwood

Today, I met my girlfriend's father for the first time. The first thing he did was show me a bullet, then he basically said that if I don't submit to his daughter's every whim, that bullet will end my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 208

You deserved it 5 549

By anon - 16/03/2015 04:10 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I thought everything went well, until I got a text from him later saying, "Come on mom, she isn't THAT bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 759

You deserved it 2 592

By Anonymous - 12/04/2013 09:24 - Australia

Today, I finally invited my girlfriend over to meet my oddball parents. The first words out of my dad's mouth were, "So, you're the silly girl who agreed to date my dickhead son." It went downhill from there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 762

You deserved it 6 945

Next

Top comments

juggalo2 20

Tuesday 21 April 2020 9:17

"Today, I met me daughter's new boyfriend. I was working on preparing a meal, and I kept giving him meaningful glances. He didn't offer to help once, just stood there sheepishly watching me work." FML

sickerthanyou 13

Tuesday 21 April 2020 6:40

The one saying FML is that goat 🐐

Comments

Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15

Monday 20 April 2020 20:15

that's a scare tactic dad's use to let you know not to hurt their daughter your gf and her mother probably bitched him out after though as is common as long as you treat her right and don't break her heart you should be fine

mekiswrite 21

Monday 20 April 2020 20:58

Yeah... consider that your warning....

Sagar Nair 11

Monday 20 April 2020 21:51

Its a warning. Treat his daughter right or he’ll do you wrong.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 20 April 2020 22:02

Try this; Good to know if you're not already circumcised. Or this: Hope you don't think you're the Greatest Of All Time! Or this: I'm sure he was just "kid"ding.

Taylor Caldwell 10

Tuesday 21 April 2020 1:30

Hopefully his psychopathic tendencies haven’t affected her, but seeing as that’s her dad I’m sure she has a messed up moral compass now

sickerthanyou 13

Tuesday 21 April 2020 6:40

The one saying FML is that goat 🐐

juggalo2 20

Tuesday 21 April 2020 9:15

"Here's looking at you, kid."

juggalo2 20

Tuesday 21 April 2020 9:17

"Today, I met me daughter's new boyfriend. I was working on preparing a meal, and I kept giving him meaningful glances. He didn't offer to help once, just stood there sheepishly watching me work." FML

BoulderDashTank19141 6

Wednesday 22 April 2020 2:57

Are you in another country?

WistayShlaio82 13

Wednesday 22 April 2020 10:33

Being half Apache I would have asked him “can you hand me the liver, I know a good recipe for that”

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Embarrassing Love Miscellaneous Romantic Christmas Break-ups Annoying Money Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Lonely Holidays Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses Cars You're fired Covid Health Cheating Jealousy Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 873

You deserved it 4 683

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 086

You deserved it 2 489

The Top

Today, I fell asleep in my math class. Turns out I sleep walk. I woke up at the front of the room with chalk in my hand, scribbles on the board behind me, and the whole class laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 617

You deserved it 8 429

Today, my boyfriend cheated on me with an Eagles cheerleader. I found out when his dad proudly posted about it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 340

You deserved it 334

Today, my boyfriend asked me if we were going to become "that stupid couple that sings cheesy songs to each other." I just spent the past 3 months writing the perfect song that I was planning on singing to him tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 510

You deserved it 8 181

Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 3 493

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been cheating on me. I also found out that my best friend knew about it all along. When I confronted him, he tried to justify the betrayal by saying that she paid him to keep quiet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 473

You deserved it 1 992

Today, I finally got some alone time today with the boyfriend (we have kids, so this is rare) and we were going heavily at it when his mother decided to drop in and wouldn’t stop knocking on the front door. Worst timing ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 128