Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML
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Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML
Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I slightly opened my eyes during it and saw him with his eyes wide open, watching TV. FML
Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML
Today, I was watching a movie with my boyfriend, when things got a little frisky and we started making out. It was my first time French-kissing, and apparently he has a very sensitive gag reflex, because the moment my tongue went in, he started retching, and vomited moments later. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. Soon, I noticed he was being very quiet. When I looked up, he was in a deep sleep. FML
Today, I was watching a romantic comedy at my boyfriend's house. During the make out scene, I decided to go in for a kiss. He apparently decided to belch at the same time. I could taste it. FML
Today, I finally made out with my boyfriend. Let's just say his idea of making out is moving his tongue like a lizard. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
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Top comments
MisterMichael 9
Did reading this make anyone else yawn?
peanuts363 12
Could be worse. My first kiss involved the girl trying to shove her tongue as far into my mouth as she could.
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Comments (170)
zandalee 20
Yep that's because you had him UP all night shagging him senseless right! Right?
JoeRogansBEARD 15
Wrong!
Senseless_487 29
You rang?
zandalee 20
That was funny senseless! X
UnionsSuck 5
Dudes gotta yawn haha
joeymo304 9
Yeah 7. Got me going
HairyPunisher 27
You know you could've replied on 7's comment as opposed to commenting on the FML.
SwagPuppet 3
Give the man a redbull!!!!!
SqueakyChipmunk 22
**** that! He needs a motherfuckin' MONSTER!!!
SwagPuppet 3
No! Monster sucks!! It all about redbull!!!
UMOISTBRO 0
Don't listen to a person with "swag" in their username - Monster is the bomb.
SqueakyChipmunk 22
MWAHAHA! Chipmunk: 1 Swag: -100
unknown_user5566 27
Hopefully he was just super tired, otherwise that means you are boring as hell in your sexual endeavors.
Cowboy1986 4
Are you? Sound like u speak from experience Lol jk
AnonTheGreat 7
YDI for having unrealistic expectations, and for not having left your cretin of a boyfriend sooner.
jake3292 5
Well he was tired
NayrGuy 0
Now, I may be confused here, but making out is the act of french kissing for a period of time. So he was kissing you closed mouth for a period of time? That's weird.
TheDrifter 24
There's more to it. If you're doing it right there is anyhow.
ImaginaryFoe 1
More to it, sure, but that is what it means, right? I'm also confused how they were making out for a while before he tried to French kiss her.
TheDrifter 24
It can be a whole creative combination of kisses and gropes, but the French kiss is a major part of most generally accepted methods. Kissing at the neck and clevage or the earlobes and neck is popular to start a makeout session, and is usually considered part of making out, but it's often before the French kisses get started.
usnwife 18
But if he was kissing her anywhere other than her mouth she wouldn't have thought he was trying to French kiss... I was quite confused as to how non-French kissing on the mouth is making out :/
TheDrifter 24
I suppose that people who are horrible kissers forget to get the tongue involved or just smash teeth together? Not entirely sure, but I'm willing to give them pity points for trying.
shizzathon 5
There's a difference between French kissing and making out? Confusing U.S slang!
ApologyKick 25
Well it is called FRENCH-kissing let's blame them!
perdix 31
When the Iraq war broke out, I started calling it Freedom-Kissing :D
Enslaved 38
You should have given him an Australian Kiss instead (a French Kiss- done Down Under). That would wake him up!