Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, as I was working in retail, this guy shoved me into the shelves for asking if he needed help with anything, screaming at me that I need to leave him alone. FML
Today, I was at work, stocking shelves. A customer got mad because I was in the way of her "shopping time" and knocked down all the work I had done. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, someone came into the store I work at, laughed at my name on my name-tag, and left without even buying anything. FML
Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him, full force, dead center in the chest, right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Where the hell do you work? The stock room of a strip joint?
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
There are few times where it is acceptable to hit a man in the balls, but in the case of someone humping the back of my head, I would have probably done it. That's just rude.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (217)
muffinXmonster 12
Stop complaining at least you have a job
THE_A_TEEN 28
You know, I would LOVE to see you go through the same shit OP has to go through.
THE_A_TEEN 28
I feel your pain, bro. My 60” flat screen TV doesn't work and I don't own a flat screen. Shocking, isn't it.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Crap, #109 was meant for #93. Shit...
Awsumuzzie 12
Op can request a different position, not necessarily quit all together. I worked at a place where somehow nu butt had man hand magnet in it. I understand. I actually quit because my boss said that she will do what's best for the business.
Awsumuzzie 12
My*
Dcm210 19
do you work at Walmart?
RoseCrystal 17
surprise skull f**k
nabila21 0
My friend humped me on a bad day it made me feel worse.
KaR1sma 6
Start swinging your head backwards. Show them who's head is stronger!
Noelle282 8
It's okay I get hit on a lot to
skyeyez9 25
Im sure he wont get fired. The head humper would probably be too embarrassed to Tell WHY he was punched in the balls. Plus the cameras in the store will support op's defense.
SeemsToFail 0
At least your getting head ;) lol me and my not so funny jokes
freelikeabird4 4
I wish my life was this exciting