By cero_kewl - 05/03/2012 05:12 - United States

Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML
I agree, your life sucks 33 569
You deserved it 2 953

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Pretty_Pink_Lady 10

Where the hell do you work? The stock room of a strip joint?

There are few times where it is acceptable to hit a man in the balls, but in the case of someone humping the back of my head, I would have probably done it. That's just rude.


That's why you obtain a "career" that you enjoy. :) Yay college?!

why were you stalking I mean, weird

#1, my job lifeguarding at a water park is extremely fun. Not only do I get to spend everyday outside, but there are ample chicks in bikinis. On the negative, you also occasionally see women 60+ who think they can still sport a bikini.

I saw that at a Lady Gaga concert. Her back up dancer served a nice routine to the back of a security guards head.. I think his job was fun. I wanted to join.

There are good jobs and bad jobs out there. OP just has one of the bad ones. But I would rather be sleeping than working. (my opinion)

13- I wasn't. I don't stalk people. Though I think youse of been referring to the stalker over there?

Wait that comment didn't make no sense.... DONT WORRY

The thought of finding a new job has always been at the back of op's head...uh, mind.

LunaDragon 10

Op must work at wal-mart (aka Hell-mart), kinda of shit always happens to me. I feel you Op.

LiveLaughFML 10

#13 he wasn't stalking, he was stocking, haha :)

I got paid to organize and play sports in high school for a summer camp thing. Best job ever!

It would be funny if i were a bunch of girls.

Don't work at Starbucks...ewww I can't stand it.

#87 - That would be funny, considering you would be one person in multiple bodies.

ppeanutbutter 1

#89 whats so ******* wrong with starbucks?

What's so wrong with Starbucks? You mean other than the drastically-overpriced coffee that's worse than swill? Hm, can't think of anything.

next time just ball tap him... i bet he wont be humping anyones head anymore, (wow never thought i would have to say that)

KiddNYC1O 20

I work with airplanes. 'nough said.

tjv3 10

You should have chased him down and beat him. Don't just sit there and get f@cked in the head

ATSViper 15

You must feel extremely special.

skyguy89 0

Wow you must be extremely hot for that to happen as much as you say it does.

flockz 19


work that updo girl. that is one fine pony tail

Then again, At least you get some action

I could use some protein rich conditioner (no ****)

kelseyyup 5

This sounds like Ellen's dance dare at work

There are few times where it is acceptable to hit a man in the balls, but in the case of someone humping the back of my head, I would have probably done it. That's just rude.

The big problem is that OP can get fired if she does that.

Just yell "what" like someone called you and snap your head back hitting him.

59 Or she could get them fired for what appears to be rampant sexual harassment. If it happens as often as OP says it does, it shouldn't be too hard to prove either.

How can she get them fired if they don't work at her store? She doesn't know the names of those people. Call me sceptic, but I doubt those men ever will be punished.

If her job has cameras, which they probably should if they don't, since people shoplift and whatnot, she can prove it and credit it as self defense.

mariet_fml 23

If OP's boss tries to fire him/her, OP can take this story to the press. "I defended myself against sexual harassment because my boss would not defend me." It'll be easier to get the headlines if OP is female, but sexual harassment at work is usually newsworthy.

And then the boss can react: "OP kicked male customers in their family jewels. We don't tolerate that kind of behaviour from our employers, even with sexual harassment. We feel sorry for OP, but it's important for us that our costumers feel safe and happy while shopping and that's nearly impossible when employers start to brutally attack them" Still sceptic.

My case is assuming it is one of OP's coworkers. No way of knowing.

She said it was 'a man'. I think she would told it if it was a coworker, don't you?

maronofhearts 19

Just admit it Djee you lost no matter how skeptic you are self defense against sexual harassment caught on tape isn't going to end badly for OP. even in your theory of her boss firing her anyway because I assume he's an idiot not only would he be slammed with public backlash but the lawsuit she files getting an attorney to get all the store tapes to prove how many times he's harassed without management doing anything will be enough money that she'd never have to work there again anyway. Especially since the public is already on her side the boss has no chance. He'd be better off keeping her and giving her a raise itd be cheaper an save him the embarrassment.

The OP would be fired and charged with assault. The OP was not being harmed and you want them to have responded with violence. Self defense only applies when there is and immediate threat to life or limb. The store will probably do nothing if the OP reports it. And at most ban that man from the store, but the OP stated this was a frequent problem so it will occur again with other men. I second accidentally head butting or shouldering his nuts.

Next time do a head bang. He will never do it again.

That blows, but stop being such a fuckhead and get a different job.

redbluegreen-Yeah, because jobs are just SO available right now. Remind me which time period you're living in again?

thrAsHeRr9081 16

RBG, on behalf of all the FML users who DO understand sarcasm and puns (all 4 of us), I appreciated this comment. And to the rest of you fuckheads who are voting this down and making dumbass comments, you're all idiots.

I got it. I don't know why it was so buried. . .

ErinBeam 1

Its actually 5, Doc. I understand sarcasm and puns...most of the time.

thrAsHeRr9081 16

It's been so long since I've seen you here redbluegreen. Made my day. Every one else who was a decent commenter has ditched fml, good to see a commenter I know.

Well I think we can stop blaming the economy. The unemployment rate is over exaggerated and nothing compared to other countries and the great depression..

Take a joke you guys. Some of you take this website way too seriously at it's actually embarrassing.

I'm sure OP is thankful for that small miracle.

iwantaslurpee 0

^at least he wasn't facing the other way.

MargieDrury 1

it's only the immature ones that do that because there disrespectful.

*their Sorry I pick up on these things

They're* Sorry, I pick up on these things. If you're gonna be a grammar Nazi, at least do a good job. Dumbass

Actually, it's they're* don't pick them up very well, clearly. EDIT: 19 beat me to it):

21, you're actually more correct than me. Mine shouldn't have been capitalized! However I'm going to blame that on my iPhones autocorrect of putting a capital at the beginning of a sentence.(:

MargieDrury 1

Lol I like how when people reply on comments it's usually hatful stuff this is Juss grammar.

Yes 48, It's "juss" grammar, but since 16 took the time to "correct" the poster, but failed as well, it's should be pointed out that they are a dumbass, for trying to correct someone albeit they have no clue what they are talking about.

MargieDrury 1

I am just saying it's the iPod. That does it.

You're really blaming your iPod for changing "they're" to "there"? For the love of ****, just admit your mistake and LEARN FROM IT.

MargieDrury 1

Tf? I type my iPod "fixes" it like and who the duck cares if I learn from my mistake if you wanna be a petty ******* bitch alright good for you. It's a touch screen electronic people mess up.

52- You're a bit of a grammar Nazi yourself.

Piss off Margie, Doc wins every fight. He only enters when he knows he will win.

MargieDrury 1

What ******* fight? You both can stfu this gramma petty stuff can go to hell. ******* petty ass bitches.

PYLrulz 17

And yet if you turned around and punched him in the nuts, you'd get fired. FYL indeed!