Today, while I was on the floor stocking a bottom shelf, a man walked up behind me and humped the back of my head. He ran away laughing. This kind of shit happens all the time. I hate my job. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, as I was working in retail, this guy shoved me into the shelves for asking if he needed help with anything, screaming at me that I need to leave him alone. FML
Today, I was at work, stocking shelves. A customer got mad because I was in the way of her "shopping time" and knocked down all the work I had done. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, someone came into the store I work at, laughed at my name on my name-tag, and left without even buying anything. FML
Today my Assistant Manager decided to pull a prank on me by walking up behind me and screaming my name. I screamed in terror and then swung around and punched him, full force, dead center in the chest, right in front of my supervisor, manager, and several other employees. FML
Today, I walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room of our restaurant. I pretended I didn't see him and quickly closed the door. About five minutes later, he came out, cupped my face in his hands and told me I was getting promoted. I'm happy, but scarred for life. FML
Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML
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Top comments
Pretty_Pink_Lady 10
Where the hell do you work? The stock room of a strip joint?
Katiekhalifa_fml 28
There are few times where it is acceptable to hit a man in the balls, but in the case of someone humping the back of my head, I would have probably done it. That's just rude.
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Comments (217)
xxmrxx13 0
Why don't you quit your job then?
ScarletFever67 6
Clearly you don't pay bills....
hnz 13
Since it's not the first time, be more alert! Or practice your reflex
pfase11 0
You need a new job or a helmet with spikes :)
Saint707 1
Higher a ninja to cover you from all sides. After a day no one would mess with you!
dustbunny10 0
Hire* .... Sigh
CallMeMcFeelii 14
Lol I love the sigh at the end..
funnynesh 10
19-hehehe
jojimugo 20
Buy a taiser gun next tyme it happens, shock a ************
t765234 10
What possible reason could you have for spelling time with a "y"? (Note: If that is acceptable in some other dialect of English, I apologize.)
TSN619 7
Taser* dumbass
jojimugo 20
I did not think fml is frequented by the grammar police get a life people
jbsington 8
Clearly you don't read the comments a lot...
omarzrgz 3
158-Hell, that's what they wait for.
jojimugo 20
To TSN619 your profile says you hate grammar nazis ...........wtf
Sumo69 9
Someone tried to skull **** you at work and that happens all the time where do you work **** shop
poindextrr 2
couldve been worse... A LOT worse
strack94 6
Take some self defense classes so next time he goes to hump you he won't be so excited.
benmec 18
Wtf? Where the hell do you work?