Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said, "You don't want those, they're for men." I asked what the difference was. He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered, "Men have a penis." FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML
Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, when I bent down to get something off a low shelf at the grocery store, I felt my shorts split wide open at the butt. All my husband did was make jokes about "that's not how you do the splits." FML
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Top comments
Toggybbz 0
Your dad is my new favourite person. he wears short shorts in public and uses the phrase 'din-dins' <3
spidersilkx9 0
tell your dad to call me [sarcasm]
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Comments (178)
brettcrisis 0
perhaps he was chaffing from riding in a fried-out combie all day?
QwertyMcNugget 0
You're dad is one cool cat!
bloobelly 0
SO HOT!!
Theblue_fml 0
you're gay because you point out what's obvious thinking it's funny
Star18lk 0
Guys normally don't wear short shorts. But I do and I'm a girl. They're cute.
shaniqualee 2
I would've gotten down on my knees and said, "All I need is a protein shake" as you start kissing his crotch. He instantly hardens as you fondle his balls underneath and looks you in the eyes that says "more." As you begin deepthroating him, he takes your hair and caresses your head. You cover every inch of his shaft until you feel his grip tighten, but instead of pulling back, you suck harder. Suddenly, his whole body seizes up as dumps a pint of yogurt down your throat. Gasping, you pull back and lick him around his head. Then you get up and have an abortion.
KBruce317 0
someone has major issues.... you're a sick ****
QwertyMcNugget 0
O.o What. the. fahck?!
pianogrl 0
ew that's gross.
Xj_Spaz 0
That's not weird. That's just gangster.
blloyd19 0
That will b on people of walmart
flowerchild1616 0
well i guess its good to openly admit that you think about doing stuff with your parents, isnt that what Freud had thought of and discovered. He'd be proud you proved him correct 117. And OP your dad just doesnt want to openly admit that he wants you to move out.
yummycupcakegirl 0
umm akward?:( men probobly shouldnt wear booty shorts.