Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said, "You don't want those, they're for men." I asked what the difference was. He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered, "Men have a penis." FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML
Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, when I bent down to get something off a low shelf at the grocery store, I felt my shorts split wide open at the butt. All my husband did was make jokes about "that's not how you do the splits." FML
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Top comments
Toggybbz 0
Your dad is my new favourite person. he wears short shorts in public and uses the phrase 'din-dins' <3
spidersilkx9 0
tell your dad to call me [sarcasm]
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Comments (178)
Ctwebsyter 0
haha, ur dad sounds like a slobbish ass-bandit
odexy 12
All I thought of when reading this FML is Hank Hill where he calls out to his dog. 'Laaaaaadybiiird! Come get your dindins!"
wDeemish 0
that's hilarious and kind of embarrassing :L
cchevy 0
is your dad cousin Eddie?
womblebat 2
your dad is awesome!
BoyBeyond 0
Well you live in Australia that pretty much cover the reason your dad is wearing the short shorts. LOL, also I think your dad scratching his nutts is disgusting and i wouldn't want anything to eat from him if i were you. I mean its your dad but come on usually when your nutts is scratching you that means you really need to take a damn shower. It's call hygiene people ew.
jkgfdxb 0
that sounds like my dad. maybe they can hangout sometime and scratch there sacks all day long in public
bebita 0
lol that's hilarious I feel for u bcuz my dad is the same way! lol
KBruce317 0
hahahahahaahaha I'm sorry, that is hilarious. Are you sure your dad isn't gay what with him wearing the short shorts and using the word "din-din"?
pianogrl 0
aw I love German shepards!
KBruce317 0
I love German Shepherds too!! xD
katiegurl19512 10
omg u poor child :( I wud cry if my dad did that I'm so sorry lol