Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said, "You don't want those, they're for men." I asked what the difference was. He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered, "Men have a penis." FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML
Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, when I bent down to get something off a low shelf at the grocery store, I felt my shorts split wide open at the butt. All my husband did was make jokes about "that's not how you do the splits." FML
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Top comments
Toggybbz 0
Your dad is my new favourite person. he wears short shorts in public and uses the phrase 'din-dins' <3
spidersilkx9 0
tell your dad to call me [sarcasm]
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Comments (178)
530boy 0
where the shirt shorts bright colored ?
6sick6 4
What the Hell are shirt shorts?
530boy 0
*short you morron
pancakerocks 1
my dads a fag like that too just buy him a regular sized shorts and give him a hard time with his short shorts
triggerit 5
short shorts ... like thong shorts?
bishhitsandii 3
Your dad sounds awesome. :D
Lindzer 0
agreed. I wish my dad were more like this!!
Quest_ 13
In Australia this is a MLIA.
Dudeitsnuri 0
??
WearingHats 14
He is saying it happens all the time in Australia.
unluckygirl86 4
uh no it doesn't! haha. I never see men in short shorts
like_its_ya_bday 0
eww your dad must have alot of friends..
LecheeBubble 0
Why does this remind me of that cat food commercial..?
ANTLink19 4
was your answer crabs?
skyeyez9 25
At least he wasn't wearing a Borat mankini?
DarkHelmet 10
hahahaha you got cockmeat sandwich for dinner