Today, while grocery shopping, my Dad asked me what I wanted for 'Din-Dins' while scratching his nuts. In a crowded aisle. Wearing short shorts. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML
Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML
Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML
Today, I was shopping for socks and I went to look in the men's section. Dad said, "You don't want those, they're for men." I asked what the difference was. He looked around, and then leaned in and whispered, "Men have a penis." FML
Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Today, my mom told my dad to get me extra absorbent pads, very loudly, in a crowded mall. FML
Today, I asked my mom to buy me new shorts. She bought fluffy bubble shorts. I'm a 20 year-old guy. FML
Today, my dad had a midlife crisis in the grocery store over his football career in high school. So he decided pelting me with vegetables and fruits would be a good idea. FML
Today, when I bent down to get something off a low shelf at the grocery store, I felt my shorts split wide open at the butt. All my husband did was make jokes about "that's not how you do the splits." FML
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Top comments
Toggybbz 0
Your dad is my new favourite person. he wears short shorts in public and uses the phrase 'din-dins' <3
spidersilkx9 0
tell your dad to call me [sarcasm]
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Comments (178)
Sparkiee93 3
My first instinct was to hit the nonexistent "like" button XD
rhaath 0
your friends arent just shitty friends, they're shitty people.
mockingjay_fml 0
glorious ..
Hopersz 0
Lmfao wow sounds like you will be on your own tonight for dinner haha. Id be like "uhhh im good ill make my own dinner". Lol. Your dad sounds cool and your lucky lol. Unlike my dad when we go grocery shopping he lets one rip in a aisle and blames it on me lol and oh god its embarrassing. Lol either that or we will be waiting in line to pay for the food and he will let one rip then turn around and loudly blame me lol. Arent dads just the best haha? Anywho enjoy yours while he still is around cause he can be here one day and gone the next
twilightluver347 7
can someone say gay father?
Mars_Bars_Big_Na 0
so? I didn't look but I'm guessing your a girl because u actually gave a shit about that
GeekMaster6000 3
YDI for having a complete idiot of a father.
j4ym4n 2
where In Australia is warm enough to wear short shorts at this time of year? yesterday was freezing!
Ladylillith 9
haha awsome!! your dad sounds freaking epic!
sockmybop 2
I!..wear short shorts! :)