Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML
Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
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Top comments
EvilTurtle 35
It's not about the size of the boat, it's about the motion of the ocean.
rebeccacmlc 22
That's an awful thing to say ... Privacy, intimacy should be respected by everyone, especially those closest to you, and most of all your mother !
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Comments (104)
ericp96 10
Shoulda emptied a dozen beer bottles on top of her
captainsmegma 12
Sorry about the dick thing. Time to bitch slap the momma.
quarterbird 18
How does your mom know how small your penis is???
Keiraquarium 12
Having a micropenis is an actual condition so OP's mom probably noticed it when OP was quite young.
Holijust 14
or just explain that ur mum was drunk and they magx10000
faifai_fml 21
How the heoneone can anyone click "YDI"???? This is a legitimate medical condition that occurs since birth!
LolKaleb 14
Same thing happened to me bro but not around the girl I like. I don't have that issue anymore though. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
SaltyLurker 10
But you're black...?
dirtbikeguy 14
Well today I learned that micropenis is a real condition. Also, as embarrassing as it was to have the girl you like find out about your condition, it may not matter all that much. Unless her intentions are purely sexual I doubt your penis has made much impact on how she feels about you. Don't lose hope!
militarybrat 21
Fyl, but she would find out eventually ya know? Maybe tell her you have really talented fingers? Sometimes that gets me off better than a penis.
Ninjerman 7
Why does your mother know about *your* struggles?
widowedbanshee 13
stop lying about your enlarged clit
KaidensCrow 18
that's definitely uncalled for... he's feeling bad enough.... there is no point making him feel worse