Miscellaneous: Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends.... - FML

By Sundendako - 27/01/2010 10:20 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 311

You deserved it 3 529

Dysfunctional

See ya!

Alexa, play "Burning down the house" by Talking Heads

By aero00 - 27/07/2010 17:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was fooling around on the trampoline with this guy, when a bounce caused us to bang our heads together, knocking me out cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 488

You deserved it 13 484

In a galaxy far, far away

By fuck Star Wars! - 31/05/2020 08:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a massive argument. I suggested we have a movie night. He suggested an all day/night Star Wars marathon. I’d be OK, if it wasn’t for the fact that we’ve done that at least five times in the last two months. He says I’m the one being unfair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 841

You deserved it 201

By Jersey girl - 08/12/2016 07:58 - United States - Miami

Today, I requested to have the next Sunday off of my job in retail. Not only did my boss say that we're not allowed to ask for weekends off anymore, but I also have to work on another weekend that I requested off. I guess I'm not going to my sister's wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 493

You deserved it 713

Alexa, play "It Wasn't Me" by Shaggy

By Anonymous - 17/09/2019 14:00

Spicy

Today, I was yelled at and fired by my boss. He claimed that I've been sleeping with his wife. I've never met his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 151

You deserved it 82

By Cheap - 27/12/2009 08:34 - United States

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wrote 50 dollars on my gift card just to look generous, it's really only worth five. I found this out after I tried to buy an arm full of clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 071

You deserved it 3 120

By dating a manchild - 01/06/2012 23:50 - Denmark - Hellerup

Spicy

Today, I arranged a romantic dinner for my boyfriend. His favourite meal, fresh flowers, scented candles. Everything went beautifully, at least until he wrapped an arm around me and whispered, "Want some dick?" into my ear. Mood horrifically ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 751

You deserved it 7 328

By Ticklish - 13/04/2014 09:33 - United States - Marion

Today, I realized that my boyfriend is so obsessed with tickling me that my body has developed a conditioned response. Now I flinch every time he touches me, no matter what we're doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 600

You deserved it 4 433

By anon - 30/08/2015 18:44 - United States

Today, while babysitting, I made the kids and myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When their parents came home, their dad took out the same container of peanut butter I had used and let their dog lick out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 373

You deserved it 1 994

The girl?

By Anonymous - 26/12/2019 01:00

Today, my mate was bragging about the nudes he was getting from this random girl, he proceeded to show me... It was my cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 516

You deserved it 258

By Anonymous - 13/07/2019 06:30

Today, my friend explained to me that the toilet paper in his bathroom is "just for show." Now I know why his hamper smells like shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 733

You deserved it 117

Let it all hang out

By Anonymous - 20/06/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, my mom was pulling up weeds on the terrace while wearing gardening gloves. Why is that worth mentioning? Because that's literally all she was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 78

By tawan - 04/12/2009 16:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I set off a fire alarm in school. I was taken to the head teacher's office, where he said that though he was shocked at my behavior, it was nice to see me being more like regular students and trying to fit in, instead of isolating myself as usual. I was shoved into the fire alarm by bullies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 836

You deserved it 3 018

By Anonymous - 17/02/2016 21:36 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boss told me that people from work have been complaining about me. Apparently, I'm not doing part of their jobs for them, and the other manager sometimes does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 003

You deserved it 1 503

By May - 04/09/2011 04:08 - United States

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating furiously. To Star Trek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 711

You deserved it 6 235

By Anonymous - 01/05/2011 18:49 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up at 4:40AM and went to the kitchen. My brother and his steel-capped boots easily found me in the dark. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 961

You deserved it 3 834

By Backinzi - 30/07/2011 23:58 - United States

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 064

You deserved it 4 947

By Anonymous - 24/01/2016 15:27 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, my dad wanted to show me a cool camera he saw on Amazon yesterday, so I let him use my laptop to find it. I realized too late that I'd forgotten to clear my browsing history. The suggested purchases section was filled with dildos and lube. He definitely noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 703

You deserved it 8 843

By gr8terevil - 02/03/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, the men clearing the walkway outside my dorm room, with a snowblower didn't realize that my window was open. I looked over from my computer to see snow shooting in, covering my clock, closet, and radio. And now it's melting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 918

You deserved it 16 880

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 03:22 - United States - Naples

Today, I got a haircut. The guy quickly cut off most of the hair above my forehead. When I angrily asked him what he was doing, he said, "Quitting." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 855

You deserved it 2 493

By Anonymous - 05/04/2013 16:26 - United States

Today, while working the drive-through, a woman ordered a large coffee with four creams. I handed her the coffee, and she took a sip. She then hurled it at me, screaming, "I said four creams, not five!" and sped off, leaving me drenched in hot coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 900

You deserved it 3 009

Besties

By Oh dear... - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I told my college friend that I considered her to be my best friend. She responded, "I don't think you should call me that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 920

You deserved it 4 148

By scared for life - 29/01/2012 16:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got to listen while my grandma, who has dementia and therefore a poor memory, explained to me why the old man on TV was a sex god. She forgot everything once she said it. I got to listen to her explanation five times over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 024

You deserved it 2 531

Office world is hell

By Anonymous - 11/07/2020 14:01

Today, at work I was sitting on the toilet and a coworker came in and yelled, “That sounded like a big one!” and wouldn't leave until I left came out of the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 128

Rough school

By strayking - 24/05/2021 17:01

Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 65

By Whosthegroom - 13/05/2011 01:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend sent out a mass text to everyone on her contact list. She's getting married in a month. I didn't propose to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 094

You deserved it 3 643

By skyllabeauty1234 - 23/07/2015 03:18 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I am probably the only person in the world who can manage to pull a muscle in their neck while brushing their teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 177

You deserved it 2 703

By killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 779

You deserved it 14 365

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 560

You deserved it 69 461

Still a better a love story than Alien vs. Predator

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, the girl who I had a desperate crush on in high school 25 years ago, and who would never go out with me, told me that she was actually head over heels in love with me, but was so cripplingly shy that she couldn't say yes. She's divorced now. I'm married. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 216

By AddictiveAddicted - 29/06/2015 02:02 - United States - Denver

Today, I found an unfamiliar ring in my purse. Thinking it was fake, I gave it to a little girl. Thanks to my mother, I later found out that the ring was my grandmother's and it was made of gold and had a real ruby. My mother added that my grandmother trusted me to keep it in our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 115

You deserved it 31 641

Doggy dog world

By Maude - 20/11/2020 05:03 - Canada - Beauharnois

Today, I was going for a relaxing walk but my dog broke free from his leash. At the same time, my 80 year-old neighbor was leaving her apartment. My dog ran inside her home and she screamed. I ended up in her bedroom, running around her bed, chasing my dog who was trying to get at her pantyhose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 203

By Saw - 11/02/2012 02:14 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking down the street, when a car started cruising alongside me. I looked over, annoyed, at which point the driver started screaming obscenities and telling me that I'm "gonna get it" for "betraying" him, before angrily speeding off. I'm too scared to even sleep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 579

You deserved it 2 629

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 18:22 - United States - Bessemer

Today, I was at work alone with a stomach bug. For some reason, our bathroom was out of toilet paper, so I had to quickly run to the nearest store to buy more, only to shit my pants midway there. I'm pretty sure the cashier knew exactly what had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 121

You deserved it 4 190

By Yeppets - 28/05/2014 04:13 - United States - Roscoe

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 804

You deserved it 5 932

By wtf is wrong with my country - 08/05/2012 17:57 - United States

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 179

You deserved it 3 599

By Username - 11/06/2011 05:47 - United States

Today, my fiancé, the love of my life, informed me that he proposed because he was sure I'd say no. He was hoping it would lead to our breakup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 193

You deserved it 3 792

By adalia - 19/07/2009 17:11 - United Kingdom

Today, I was telling my dad about plans to go out late for a few drinks next week. My dad started his usual "YOU COULD GET RAPED!" lecture, before my brother sprang to my defence, "It's not like she's what they're after, is she?" Apparently, rapists are out of my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 137

You deserved it 4 918

By UsuallyaUnicornbread - 26/11/2014 21:01 - United States - Morrisville

Today, I went to get myself a latte to make myself feel better after having a bad day. As soon as I sat down to enjoy it, I spilled it all over myself, another customer, and the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 499

You deserved it 3 298

By ChinaWillOwnUs - 27/08/2018 15:00

Today, I was warned that I was failing too many students and it had to stop, so I showed my boss all of the easy assignments a lot of students didn't even turn in. She told me to stop using so many "big words" in them. I teach at a four year University. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 717

You deserved it 209

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 01:15 - United States

Today, my dad bought a one hundred dollar collectible light-saber. He plays with it. In the front yard. With sound effects. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 718

You deserved it 7 911

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:19

MILF.

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:15

Now that sucks

Comments

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:15

Now that sucks

voodootrucker 0

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 22:33

so what tits is tits win!

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Thursday 28 January 2010 1:06

even if there your moms tits? that's a lose lose situation her son and friends saw their first tits with spider veins and wrinkles also to mention hangin like an egg on a hang nail and she showed her unfunbags to a bunch of kids FYL but atleast she didn't show her roastbeef thrown against a wall pussy

EastonxStealth 0

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Thursday 28 January 2010 4:59

u ain't no American YDI Brit!!!!!!

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Thursday 28 January 2010 5:24

it says he's from Australia... they might be similiar but.... they aren't come on we americans might not be able to use our heads but we can atleast read (I hope)

MagicalPegicorn 0

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Thursday 28 January 2010 6:23

YDI it for looking.

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Thursday 28 January 2010 6:38

@#45: so not true. that's sick.

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Thursday 28 January 2010 8:41

@65 maybe she was a milf :)

x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0

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Monday 1 February 2010 5:49

@65: You don't know how old she is.

z620 0

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Saturday 20 February 2010 22:28

#65 win although disturbing

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Tuesday 27 July 2010 4:45

i would never go out un public again. EVER

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:19

MILF.

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 21:33

ahaha

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Thursday 28 January 2010 1:38

maybe a GILF

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Thursday 28 January 2010 5:25

if I was ur friend I would of done her

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Thursday 2 September 2010 17:47

agreed with 85 lmao

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Friday 9 September 2011 6:33

Ur hawt

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:21

Wow... just wow

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:21

oh shit this stinks... :(

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Friday 29 January 2010 9:06

super villain

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:24

It's not like you haven't seen it before.

paperboat_fml 0

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 21:17

even so, it's infront of her friends... :l

MechanicalDoll 0

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 21:44

In front of HIS friends... Worse. :]

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Thursday 28 January 2010 14:45

Were any of them interested?

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Sunday 7 August 2011 2:20

HIS

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:26

that's hot

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:26

u must be scarred for life :(

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 22:03

Most likely, this will probably lead to him developing his very own drinking problem and years later flashing his children and their friends. The cycle continues.

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 23:27

HAHAHA

alexandraa_fml 0

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:27

Does she have huuugee... tracks of land?

x_HELLo_tHERE_x 0

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Monday 1 February 2010 5:51

Monty Python referance!!! ^^ win

yourmomsvagina 5

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Tuesday 10 April 2012 16:06

Hahahahahaha

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:27

Is your mom hot? Aussie chicks are sexy. FYL

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Friday 29 January 2010 3:49

from an aussie trust me not all of them are

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Wednesday 27 January 2010 20:29

wow that's sick unless ur mom is Hott

Nearly

Today, a tech came to repair my cracked phone screen. He told me to remove my case and took it to his van in my driveway to fix it. Thirty minutes later, he rings my doorbell and hands me my phone back. He says he fixed the screen but tripped and dropped it walking back to my house, and completely shattered the back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 3

Today, my girlfriend called off our plans to get married, all because I didn't “make enough time” while I was busy renovating the house for her parents to come over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 10

Spicy

Spicy

Today, I spent all day waiting for an unlikely follow up text from the girl from Tinder I let peg me on the first date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 309

Today, I swear I'm off men for good after my latest dud date wanted me to pee on his chest to turn him on, and we were only 20 minutes into the first date. The entire male gender are disgusting pigs, no matter how nice they pretend to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 671