Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML
Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
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Top comments
EvilTurtle 35
It's not about the size of the boat, it's about the motion of the ocean.
rebeccacmlc 22
That's an awful thing to say ... Privacy, intimacy should be respected by everyone, especially those closest to you, and most of all your mother !
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Comments (104)
scratchsticks 3
all you need is a raincoat and booties
T1A2Z3 34
Stop talking to your mother about your penis and maybe you'll get laid....
SaltyLurker 10
Hey you know I've stumbled across plenty of online gay communities solely praising micropenises (and there are some hot guys there, too). Statistically speaking, I'd hazard a guess there are some ladies out there looking for someone EXACTLY your size =)