Today, while at a neighborhood party, my drunk mother told all our neighbors, including a girl I like, about my struggles with a micropenis. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML
Today, my mom came home drunk and crying, so I tried to comfort her and asked what was wrong. She wasted no time admitting that she'd hooked up with her ex-husband, AKA my dad, but that it'd sucked for her because he has a tiny penis. Thanks, I really needed to know that. FML
Today, I met up with a girl I've been hanging out with a bunch recently. She said that we should be a couple, "unless you have a micropenis", then laughed. I actually do have a micropenis. I couldn't hold it together, and ran out of the bar, crying. FML
Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents at a family dinner. There was plenty of alcohol on offer, as is normal at our get-togethers. She got blind drunk and ended up crying to my mum about how I can't please her because I have a small penis and my oral sucks. FML
Today, my mom got drunk at our family reunion and told everyone how worried she is that my "excessive masturbation" would damage the nerves in both my dick and arm. FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, whilst celebrating my birthday with my friends and family, I met a girl at the bar who seemed interested. She became very disinterested and left after my mother whispered in her ear "If you go home with my son make sure he wears a condom." FML
Today, my mom decided it was a good idea to remind me about my non-existent sex life while all the family was having dinner. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
EvilTurtle 35
It's not about the size of the boat, it's about the motion of the ocean.
rebeccacmlc 22
That's an awful thing to say ... Privacy, intimacy should be respected by everyone, especially those closest to you, and most of all your mother !
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (104)
Distruminox 13
She was just trying to make... small talk.... No but seriously, sorry OP
prettygurl89 16
Awwww :(
orsombre_fml 11
Don't worry, OP. As a lesbian, I can tell you that there are many ways to please your partner with your tongue, fingers and attention to her. And as another post explained, some straight women do prefer micropenises. This said, you should have a talk with your mom. She should have respected your sensitivity and privacy.
nakros 17
This is a reason I don't like telling my mom about my business unless I seriously need her help because, well as portrayed here, mothers love telling everyone your business
Rskittles10 16
Don't feel bad about your micropenis. You have fingers and a tongue for a reason
Xandrick 22
1,522 people: "Haha you deserved it, **** your feelings!" OP, that's rough. She better have realized her mistake, she better have felt like shit, and she better have apologized profusely.
Lynchie92 8
Oh the shame
bobsanction 18
Stick out your tongue and wink at her. Problem solved.
Sciath13 14
What, pray tell, could anybody do to deserve that? It's so harsh...
joshi42 16
Just to make it clear: the penis in question is your, or...?