Today, when we were at wrestling practice, we had to bend over to stretch. When I bent down, I noticed a car on the street stopped. There was a sixty year old man watching us. He then licked his lips and drove away. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML
Today, I was walking home from the gym. An old man in his car rolled down the window and drove slowly next to me. He pulled out a camera, took a picture of me and said, "It's gonna be a fun night!" and then drove off. FML
Today, while walking home with my boyfriend, he jokingly slapped my butt. A man as old as my dad drove by, yelled "Wooo, spank that ass! DAMN!" and kept leering at me before finally driving off. FML
Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML
Today, while driving, I idly started picking my nose. I looked over at the car next to me and saw a smoking hot guy from my school staring at me in disgust. He kept staring until I took a turn-off. FML
Today, while at the gym, I noticed a creepy-looking guy watching me. When I got up from the equipment, I noticed that he sniffed the seat. I didn't say anything the first time. After he did it the second time, I asked him to stop. He bent down and sniffed it without breaking eye contact. FML
Today, I saw a bad car wreck. I pulled over and ran to the car to find an unconscious man behind the wheel. Another car pulled up, and a guy got out. I was relieved to have help, until, to my horror, he started trying to hit on me. I was stuck with him until the ambulance arrived. FML
Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML
Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. He went to get popcorn and I went to the bathroom. Thinking he had got back before me, I sat down next to him in the theater. I leaned in to kiss him, then realized it was some 70-year-oldish woman. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
"Ohh, you startin' to piss me off, ya little piglet son of a bitch. Call meeee ;)"
blackscent 0
wat the hell..
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Comments (85)
Flamersplamer 0
YDI for being violent.
pieisyourdrug 0
Erm, I think it's a bit much to call 911.
Talonaran 2
"Holy moly! It must be my birthday!" - Herbert
Talonaran 2
And because no one quoted it yet "What's goin' on in my pants? Looks like we got six more weeks of winter!"
Vaetrus 0
You should go give him some chap stick for his lips. :]
Edge578 0
Props for not calling him a "perv." That really pisses me off.
tpbdogs57 0
Unregistered, I agree with you about the music thing. Except I like a little bit of rap (not the generic "I get bitches drugs and money!" robotic-voiced crap, the underground stuff) but mostly Metal and Hard Rock. What are your favorite bands? Personally I like Slipknot, Killswitch Engage, and Drowning Pool isn't too bad, either. OP- Haha, better watch out. Report that guy if you see him again, lol.
megamango 0
HAHAHAHAHA! oh and whats up with these TOTALLY random coments? like about music and hot asian guys? WTF?
100lol 0
LOL, I can imagine that. +Bends over.+ +See an old man drive by staring at your ass while licking his lips, then drives away.+
saailaway 0
LOL this is probably the only fml that made me laugh
Talonaran 2
"What's goin' on in my pants? Looks like we got six more weeks of winter!"